Marriage Customs in Zhangzi County, Changzhi City

Marriage etiquette can be roughly divided into the following stages:

Discuss marriage

Marriage negotiation, also known as "marriage negotiation", is the initial stage for men and women to discuss marriage. In the past, it included several procedures such as "proposing marriage", "posting" and "dating" until the engagement was ready. In this process, it is often the parents of both men and women who decide whether the marriage is successful according to each other's family background, family background and appearance, and both men and women have almost no say.

In the old countryside, there was a custom of "no clouds and no rain in the sky, no media in the ground to get married". Marriage between men and women cannot be independent, and they only listen to "parents' orders and matchmakers' words." Talking about marriage is about "rural life, suitable for all families", and choosing a portal is very particular. In Qin county, the concept of family status was very serious in the past, and the society was divided into three classes. "Educated, official is superior, engaged in agriculture, industry and commerce is medium, attached to the sedan chair, singer, etc. The superior does not marry the middle and lower classes, and it is difficult for the middle and lower classes to marry the upper and middle classes. Each of them is called a gate valve. " (Zhou Qinzhi)

At the beginning of marriage proposal, the parents of the man usually entrust the matchmaker or rely on relatives, friends and neighbors to propose to the woman's house, which is also called "marriage proposal". This procedure is equivalent to the "acceptance" in the "Six Rites".

If the woman's parents agree to consider marriage, it is convenient for the man to ask the woman's name and date of birth again or through the matchmaker, so as to "open the eight characters" and ask Mr. Yin and Yang to "get married" to see if the fate of both men and women matches. Changzhi area is called "taking four pillars". The specific method is to write the "four pillars" of the date of birth of both men and women on silk or hemp paper, and then ask someone to tell a fortune to see if there is any discrepancy between the two sides. It is generally believed that male and female zodiac criminals are not suitable for marriage. The so-called "hedge" refers to the collision between Zi and Wu, Ugliness and End, Yin and Shen, San and Hai, Chen and Xu, Mao and You, and * * * "Six Red". There has always been a saying that "white horses are afraid of green cows, rabbits and dragons communicate with tears, pigs and monkeys are endless, snakes and tigers are like knives, and once sheep and rats stop". Cohabitants can succeed, and opponents must avoid it. In my hometown, there is a saying that "a male prisoner's husband's family is thirty-six, and a female prisoner's husband's family is poor for life." These statements are sheer nonsense, and now most places no longer pay attention to them. This procedure is equivalent to "asking names" in Six Rites.

After the "eight characters" of men and women are combined, the two families will choose auspicious days to pass Geng posts, and re-state the date and time of birth of men and women. At this point, the marriage was initially decided. According to Changzhi, the woman was "taken away" or "asked out". This program is equivalent to the first part of "Naji" in Six Rites. Since it is not fashionable to get married now, the procedure of "posting" is naturally exempted.

To meet the conditions of engagement, both men and women should "blind date", also known as "meeting" and "looking at the house", that is, both men and women agree to meet at the agreed time, which ultimately determines whether the marriage is successful. At present, this custom still exists in Changzhi, but the protagonist of blind date has changed from both parents to both men and women. The meaning of "blind date" is not to recognize relatives, but to further deepen mutual understanding through face-to-face contact. When men and women meet for the first time, they are usually introduced by a matchmaker or an introducer. They sat opposite each other, peeking at each other's appearance and behavior. The so-called "things" are the same.

To be engaged/engaged (to [somebody])

After the marriage negotiation stage, both men and women have positive opinions on marriage before they can be formally engaged, that is, "engagement" and "engagement" The man solemnly sends a bride price to the woman's house. The amount is generally determined by the time and place, depending on the wealth of the family. This procedure is equivalent to the second half of "Naji" and "Zheng Na" in Six Rites.

When a man and a woman are engaged, they usually choose auspicious days, such as the 3rd, 6th and 9th of the lunar calendar. Parents of both sides should hold a banquet for relatives and friends on the selected day, which is called "engagement banquet". The staple food is generally noodles, which means that men and women have become affectionate children's in-laws, so it is also called "eating noodles". In some places, jiaozi is a must-have for men's banquets, which means "squeezing the mouth", indicating that they hope not to ask for bride price again; Women hold banquets in return for "minced meat noodles", which means no gifts.

On the day of engagement, the man's family will send flour to the woman's family. The flour sent by the woman's house is fried into oil cakes with millet and then sent to the man's house. If the man distributes it to relatives, friends and neighbors, it is called "notice".

In Shangdang area, the man wants to give the woman ten things, which means "perfection". Among the things that the woman gave back to the man, there were ten packages of wheat bran mixed with salt powder. These ten bags of bran salt should be sprinkled on the heads of future in-laws and sisters-in-law, indicating that everyone is blessed (bran) and predestined (salt). In Huguan, Pingshun County and other places, both men and women should send each other "four-color gifts". The man gave the woman "engagement clothes", rings, earrings, bracelets and other things, and the woman also gave him Four Treasures of the Study, a fan, a wallet and a belt. Among them, the belt is particularly indispensable, which means "I will tie you up from now on" or "I will take off your clothes".

In many areas of Shangdang, when engaged, people also pay attention to exchanging "dragon and phoenix stickers", that is, red paper stickers with dragons and phoenixes printed on them. The "dragon post" given by the man to the woman is written with the words "good luck", also called "sincere post", which is roughly written as follows: "I am ashamed of my lack of jade, and I pray for my promise. Xxxx bow ". The "Phoenix Post" given by the woman to the man is written with the words "Ji Yun", also known as "Cloud Post", which roughly reads: "I am more ashamed than Phoenix, and I am willing to behead Lapras. Foolish brother (brother) is embarrassed. " "Dragon and phoenix stickers" are generally made of red gold and gold, and they should be folded into 10% to show that the marriage will last forever (9). Others are folded in half, and the year, month, day and time of birth of men and women are written in the middle seam and put together just right.

After the engagement, Wuxiang also has the rule of "invitation", that is, the man chooses an auspicious day of the zodiac to prepare a gift, receives a bride price, and is led by the matchmaker, carrying two boxes to the woman's house and telling her the date of marriage. The woman will also be accompanied by relatives to the man's house once. When he came back, the man gave the woman some money and a bundle of cotton, which was called "touching the cotton" or "sticking the flowers", indicating that the friendship would continue from now on.

marry

After engagement, if both men and women reach the marriage age recognized locally, the man's parents will hold a banquet and invite the woman's parents and matchmaker to choose the wedding date, which is called "meeting choice" or "choosing the date". Earlier, teachers of Yin and Yang were usually invited to see auspicious days of the zodiac in advance. The wedding months of various local zodiac signs are: "chickens and rabbits are in July, and tigers and monkeys are in February and August;" Pigs and snakes in March and September, dragons and dogs in April and October; Cattle and sheep in May and November, rats and horses in June and December ". Because people think that the wedding date is related to the lives of both men and women, they are very cautious. Parents often postpone their engagement for more than a year or even longer.

After the wedding date is finally selected, the man should formally write a post to inform the woman. Tunliu area is called "sending weather", and Pingshun and other places are called "writing books" and "posting". This procedure is equivalent to the "invitation period" in Six Rites. In some places, it is only at this time that the bride price is officially given to the woman. Before engagement, it was a "small delivery"; Now I want to marry "Navi" as a "gift".

Before marriage, both men and women should hold a bride price. The man should give the woman clothes, goods and money according to her request. There are basically six kinds of bride price: bride price money, wedding cake, wedding noodles, inserting and wearing, ready-made clothes and loving red. Xihong is red cotton cloth, which is used to make women's trousers. The other five kinds of bride price are not necessarily mandatory, but you must have them.

In most areas of Shangdang, on the eve of marriage, men and women give each other "sacrifices", including a little rice flour, a knife of pork (about a catty), a piece of raw copper and a piece of wrought iron. Female animals are short of pork and have a little salt. Each item symbolizes a certain meaning: rice noodles, which means rice noodle husband and wife, wish the husband and wife to be diligent and keep the house; Pork means dead meat for live meat; Raw copper and wrought iron represent the marriage of copper and iron, wishing the new couple a lifetime of dependence and a long life together; Salty salt represents fate, and I wish the couple live in harmony. The man's house is expected to be delivered to the woman's house by the new husband himself; It was returned to the bride's house and brought back by her new husband. After "coming back", the Yue family will wrap a small piece of pig iron, a pair of chopsticks and a handful of rice noodles with red cloth, indicating that the rice noodle couple is about to have a baby. As for brides in red, they are everywhere. Getting married is a great happy event. People always try their best to get good luck, such as concerts, worship of heaven and earth, chopsticks in pillows (having a baby soon) and wedding lanterns.

The day before marriage, the woman should send her daughter's dowry to the man's house, which is called "dowry". In the old days, the dowry was usually tables, chairs, cabinets, clothes, bedding, toiletries, etc., all of which should be labeled with red happy characters or tied with red cloth. Wuxiang, Licheng and other places pay attention to putting walnuts and dates in the basin of dowry, and then cover them with red paper-cuts; In some villages in Qin county, Xiang Yuan and his eldest son pay attention to putting chopsticks and walnuts in pillows, putting bran in shoes and sewing dates and peanuts on the four corners of the quilt. These customs all express the hope that the newlyweds will have children as soon as possible, and both children will have a beautiful and happy relationship.

On the eve of marriage, the woman's family should give her daughter a "head" and "face". "Top" means changing your hair style and putting your braids in a bun. "Open face" is also called "open face", and smoothness is called "Hao face". In fact, it was the bride who had a facial shave to show the end of her girlhood. Generally, an "all-blessed person", that is, an elderly woman with in-laws, parents, husbands and children, will be invited to twist the hair off the girl's face, trim her eyebrows and trim her sideburns with fine thread. After the "summit" and "face-opening", the woman should entertain her elders and neighbors, as well as her soon-to-be-married daughter. Folks believe that when a daughter reaches the top, she is a family member, and the family must treat her as a guest, so the banquet is very rich, and her daughter is also arranged at the top of the banquet. Besides congratulating the married girl, the elders and neighbors should also educate her to respect her in-laws, serve her husband well and handle the relationship between good sister-in-law and her aunt.

Go to the woman's house the night before the wedding to discuss the arrangements for the next day. This person needs to find someone who can talk. Generally, the time and vehicle arrangement for the next day are agreed. Note: This person needs to bring a bag of noodles and five pounds of meat. (Not a joke)

Pick up the bride

Wedding, also known as "wedding" and "marrying a wife", is equivalent to "kissing" in "Six Rites". Usually the groom personally goes to the woman's house to marry the bride. On the eve of the wedding, several young men will sleep together in the new house, commonly known as the "greenhouse".

On the wedding day, my husband's family put a bundle of straw on both sides of the gate, called grass. The word "Xi" is stuck on the grass, and there are two cannons hidden inside, which are lit as soon as they get married. Before liberation, we should prepare a bundle of straw and put it in front of the shrine of heaven and earth. At the same time, we should also prepare a straw cutter and a couple. Only seven knives are allowed to cut straw, so it is called seven knives. Part of the chopped grass is put into a new pillow, and the other part is put into a bucket for yin and yang. After departure, post couplets at the gate and the new house.

In the past, wedding teams paid attention to various ceremonies. From front to back, there are gunners, gongs, flags, Zhu's "silence", "avoidance", palace lanterns, golden melons, axe cymbals, cymbals, dragon and tiger flags, round fans and sun shades, and drums are indispensable. Generally, the sedan chair takes two rides, and the bride and groom take one ride. When you go, the bride's sedan chair is not empty, and you should put flower cakes and green buns as town objects; In some places, a little boy who belongs to the same family as the bride and whose parents are still alive sits on a sedan chair, which is called "pressing the sedan chair".

When getting married, the man needs to choose 1 as his son-in-law, 2 as the wife of the bride, and 1 to go to the woman's house as firecrackers. When returning, the woman needs 1 person to accompany her new wife, and 1 person (usually the bride's younger brother) will send it to the man's house. Sometimes the woman's aunt, uncle and close relatives also send their daughters to the man's house. There must be someone in the wedding party to accompany the groom. In Wuxiang area, two people were found among relatives and friends of the elderly, called "Iceman"; Then from the groom's sons and nephews, find someone about the same age as the groom. This is called "introduction". Some places pay attention to "one woman and two men" and ask the groom's nephew and two brothers to go with the sedan chair; When she came back, the woman naturally accompanied "a woman and two men" to see her off. In some places, weddings and seeing off relatives are accompanied by the skilled etiquette of both wives. The person who accompanies the groom is generally called "companion"; Accompanying the bride is called "seeing the guests off". In addition to "seeing off guests", if the woman goes to another person, it is "eating guests".

Before the daughter got married, Shangdang had the custom of "crying to marry", which was called "the daughter-in-law cried and her family was rich". According to the research of folklore experts, the origin of this custom is related to the ancient "robbing marriage", and then the crying when women were robbed gradually evolved into the "crying marriage" in marriage customs. This is not joy or sadness, but often has its real content. Generally speaking, I lament the end of carefree teenage life, thank my parents for their kindness, miss my brother and sister-in-law getting along well with my girlfriend, and feel very confused about my life transition as a wife and daughter-in-law. If you are dissatisfied with your marriage and feel wronged, you should take the opportunity to play and cry. The bride's mother, girlfriend and family usually cry with her.

After the wedding procession arrives, the bride's door is usually closed and locked by the bride's sister or girl friends. On the one hand, it shows the dignity of the woman's family, on the other hand, it deliberately plays tricks on the guests attending the wedding. Guests attending the wedding are afraid of being late and have to pay an "opening fee". The new husband takes a piece of pork with him when he goes out, which is called tiger meat. When you get to the woman's house, throw it on the roof of the bride's house.

After the wedding procession entered the door, the woman hosted a banquet. When the groom enters the bride's house, he must also salute the ancestral tablet first, and the bride's house should give the groom a gift. The bride's house hosted a banquet in honor of the groom and his guests. After dinner, the woman usually asks the groom for money. Some families also ask them to comb their hair. When the son-in-law leaves the woman's house, he needs to "steal" something from the woman's house to bring it back, which means good luck. Small objects such as small wine glasses and teacups are usually stolen, which are prepared by the woman's family and hinted to the son-in-law. Locals call it "getting rich". In Qinxian and other places, the daughter wants to eat egg cakes before leaving, commonly known as "three eggs and a pot of wine, send her daughter to a sedan chair." There is also a custom of "grabbing money" in Xiangyuan: both men and women grab a few prepared banknotes in their parents' arms, hoping that they can spend money in the future, but they must leave some financial resources for their parents.

After leaving, the groom kowtowed to his parents-in-law and said goodbye. Then the music was deafening, and the wedding team, escorted by the woman, set off with even greater momentum.

When her daughter got married and left home, Shangdang was full of the custom of taking her mother's native place. People believe that "soil can produce everything, and soil can produce gold", and they are afraid that if they take away the soil, they will take away the good luck of planting crops at home. This is naturally a deep-rooted traditional concept in agricultural society. When a daughter gets married, she should put on new shoes on the kang, and then her brother or uncle will carry or lift her sedan chair. Or sit in a chair and be carried into a sedan chair; In some places, the floor is covered with red carpet or red cloth. The daughter took off her old shoes, got into a sedan chair and put on new shoes. No matter how you get out, don't touch the ground.

When the daughter leaves, in Qin county, the mother will circle the sedan chair twice with tears in her eyes, silently wishing her happiness and good luck; Father symbolically escorted "Hundred Steps", followed by four people, including his uncle, uncle, brother and younger brother.

The wedding route generally pays attention to taking a big circle and not taking the road on the return trip. The wedding team should wear red carpet or red cloth, not only to let the bride step on the sedan chair, but also to cover the sedan chair window and the bride when passing through the temple, well platform or stone mill, so as to prevent the sneaking monsters such as the white tiger star from interfering with each other. In other people's wedding procession in Lu Yu, the two sides should exchange "needle and thread", that is, the bride's needle and thread to eliminate disasters. Now, when the wedding teams meet, they will give each other handkerchiefs, which is the tradition.

In the past, sedan chairs or cars were used for weddings. In addition, in some places in Pingshun mountain area, the bride gets married and rides a donkey. In Changzhi, Tunliu and other places, the bride and groom should ride horses.

On wedding day, the makeup of the bride and groom varies from place to place. The groom used to wear a wide-brimmed black helmet, jacket and robe, but later he changed into a uniform. Now he mostly wears a suit and tie. In some places, you can also see the bride wearing a rockhopper, embroidered robe and a jade belt around her waist, which looks like a queen on the stage. Later, instead of wearing embroidered robes, I changed into a red cotton-padded jacket, a rockhopper and brown glasses, which was fashionable.

On the wedding day, the man sends as many vehicles as possible to the woman to get married. The first one must be a red car. Finally, it is best to have a larger vehicle (such as a van) to send the woman's many relatives after dinner.

The man had better go to the woman's house around 1 1 to cope with the difficulties of her relatives and friends. Generally speaking, it is well-intentioned, and it is easy to make it come true without full discussion at the top. More importantly, he will ask the woman for small money such as combing her hair, and the man will wear shoes for her.

wedding

When the wedding procession returned to the man's home, gongs and drums rang, firecrackers rang, and the man's relatives and neighbors flocked out to meet the bride. When the bride arrives at the man's house, the man will give her a "sedan chair gift" before the bride gets off the bus. After the bride's dowry is delivered to the man, the man will pay the giver, the newly married wife and the helper who sent the dowry after counting the dowry. Then, a wedding ceremony is held: first worship heaven and earth, then worship Gaotang, and the husband and wife worship each other, exchange gifts (mostly wedding rings) and enter the bridal chamber.

Hosted by the man's manager, there are roughly the following contents: introduction of marriage and love, worship of heaven and earth, worship of parents' church (the woman should formally call her parents at this time), worship of husband and wife (there will be small acts of violence at this time, and the woman should be alert, but they are generally well-intentioned and will not become criminal offences. )

Then the man needs to carry the bride upstairs. The man had better start physical training one month before the wedding, otherwise it will be embarrassing. At the door, there is usually an inaccessible thing hanging on the door, which requires the man to carry the bride and do his best.

In the suburbs, the bride's sedan chair came to the door, the bride was covered with cloth and covered with red carpet, someone helped her, music played in unison, firecrackers exploded under colorful sheds, the groom stood on the left, the bride stood on the right, and parents and elders sat in the middle. At this time, the guests and friends sang:

"Men and women are talented, beautiful and respectful.

I gave birth to three noble sons in five years, ranking first in the world.

Loving couples spend a lot of time,

One worships heaven and earth, the other worships Gaotang, and the husband and wife worship each other and enter the bridal chamber. "

Later, the couple worshipped each other, drank a glass of wine and had a pair of wine songs.

In the Qinxian area, the bride's sedan chair landed on a red quilt. After asking for the money for the sedan chair, the bride stepped on the red carpet and entered the door with the help of a "all-blessing person" The mother-in-law then symbolically swept the car three times with a broom, took a handful of dirt home and put it under the mat at the corner of the kang in the new house. This is called "sweeping the soil of the sedan chair", which is about the opposite of the custom of "not taking the soil of one's mother's family" You are afraid of bringing her family's soil and affecting her family's crops. I will try my best to sweep some for my own breeding.

In some places of Shangdang, after the bride gets off the sedan chair, she should sprinkle a lot of straw, bran, melon seeds, peanuts, walnuts, chestnuts and other things on her body, and at the same time recite compliments. This custom is called "spreading grass" or "spreading happy fruit", which has a very old origin and is said to have been popular as early as the Han Dynasty. Formerly known as "Sagudou", it is intended to ward off evil spirits such as Qingyang, Wuji and Qingniu. Later, it gradually evolved from exorcism to good luck.

(of the bride and groom) salute to heaven and earth.

After the bride and groom enter the door, they will then "worship the church", also known as "worship heaven and earth" Generally, the place to worship the church is in front of the bridal chamber. There is an altar with the tablets of the monarch and the teacher of heaven and earth on it, and the curtain of the ancestors is hung behind the altar. After the bride and groom were in place, the two male guests sang and kowtowed three times to pay homage to heaven and earth, ancestors and parents. Then the woman is east, the man is west, and the husband and wife pay homage.

At the wedding reception, the bride and groom usually need to propose a toast to the guests, and the groom needs someone who can drink a lot to finish it for himself. After the banquet, it is best to have a male motorcade to send the female guests home.

new house/apartment

After the meeting, the bride and groom stepped into the bridal chamber surrounded by everyone. Put a saddle in front of the bridal chamber or on the threshold in advance, and take it off as soon as the bride crosses her front foot.

When you enter the bridal chamber, your uncle makes the bed and your brother-in-law or nephew carries the bedpan. In addition to some daily necessities, there are big red double happiness characters on the window, and there are red candles in the room. In Qinxian area, there is a bucket in the bridal chamber, which contains grains, bronze mirrors and other town objects to ward off evil spirits. Lamps and candles are hung on high walls and never go out all night, commonly known as "longevity lamps". In the middle of the night, the couple will hold a "knocking ceremony", and they will sit on the threshold and drink soup, commonly known as "children's soup". Put dates, peanuts, grass knots, etc. While drinking soup, while stirring the soup in the bowl, I recited a folk song: "Mix a knot with your left hand and your children will be scattered." At the same time, I also knocked on the bangzi and said, "Bang bang, knock on my son next year and have a good grandson." Men will learn, women will tie flowers, sit on the bench and get up. " It embodies Qin people's yearning for their children's future life. In the past, I expected to have children from the wedding. In Lucheng area, the couplet commonly used on the door of the bridal chamber is: "Happy New Year, the first crossing of the Milky Way today." As soon as the bride entered the bridal chamber, some people sprinkled red dates and peanuts on the bed, indicating that they would have children early.

Earlier, after the bride and groom entered the bridal chamber, they had to eat and drink with the same utensils and have a "wedding ceremony". Generally speaking, the bride and groom drink a little from each cup, then mix two glasses of wine and drink in the other cup.

Popular bridal chamber wine songs in Huguan area;

Woman: I propose a toast to you. It's up to you.

M: I propose a toast to you and treat your relatives to rice and noodles.

Woman: I propose a toast to you. Going out is a shelter from the wind and rain.

Man: Here's to you, let you have a baby.

Woman: cheers. Don't forget your wife when you go out.

Man: I propose a toast to you. I respect the old and care about the young.

On the third or fifth day after marriage, the bride returns home; On the ninth day, the bride will go back to her mother's house again and stay for a few days, which is called "staying nine". When men and women are newly married, sexual intercourse is bound to be frequent. If you don't find some excuses to keep them apart for a few days, it won't do you any harm. It seems that "living in nine" really has some scientific truth. Huguan will stay nine times, which is called "receiving nine times". There is a saying that "if you don't get it nine times when you are newly married, pigs and dogs are not as good as after you die."

Shangdang, like other parts of the country, has the custom of "disturbing the new house" on the wedding night, which is very lively. As the saying goes, "If you don't make trouble, it will make it worse." There is also the folk custom of "three days after marriage, big or small". Three days after marriage, guests, neighbors, relatives and friends, regardless of generation, men, women and children, can gather in the new house and participate in teasing the bride and groom. It is believed that disturbing the new house can not only add to the festive atmosphere of the wedding, but also drive away evil spirits and bless the bride and groom with good luck and prosperity after marriage.

(of a newlywed wife) going to her parents' home with her newlywed husband.

On the morning after the wedding, the newlyweds bowed to their families, relatives and elders, and the recipients presented gifts to the bride. The same generation and younger generation in the family will also come to see the bride, commonly known as "sizing" or "sizing", whose significance lies in confirming the bride's position in the man's family. On this day, the woman's parents came to her husband's house with cakes and pasta gifts to congratulate Weng Po, commonly known as "Congratulations".

On the third day after marriage, Shangdang still kept the ancient custom of "getting married" and "having a reunion dinner" in some places. On this day, the daughter-in-law and in-laws came to the son-in-law's house to deliver meals and visit their daughter, fearing that her daughter would be shy when she first arrived at her husband's house, and she would be hungry if she didn't have enough to eat. Having a reunion dinner is to determine the relationship with the husband's family. I don't want to have a reunion dinner with my husband's family, so I won't come. Qinxian and other places are called "seeing the 3rd" or "inquiring the 3rd".

The custom of "returning home", that is, the newlyweds go back to the woman's house to visit relatives, is also very popular in Shangdang. It is basically the fifth day after marriage, and there are also the third day after marriage, or the sixth, seventh, ninth, 10 or even 12 days after marriage, which varies from place to place. The bride went back to her parents' home, returned on the same day, called back to the door and called away for 5 days. If the bride's family specially sends someone to pick her up, it will be called five days.

People call the bride's marriage from her mother's family to her husband's family "entering the door", so the bride's return from her husband's family is called "returning to the door", and the newlyweds return to the door together in pairs, also called "double doors". For son-in-law, this custom has the significance of thanking parents-in-law and getting to know the woman's relatives and friends. As far as the daughter is concerned, she shows the feelings of not forgetting her parents' kindness after getting married and getting married. However, this custom, which is welcomed by brides who have just left home and parents, is not an easy thing for the groom. Not to mention that in front of the woman's relatives and friends, the new son-in-law will be "judged", and the bride's sisters alone will make him feel at a loss. These cheeky girls painted soot and black paint on her brother-in-law's face, and made him eat jiaozi wrapped in pepper and pepper. The new son-in-law can't get angry in the process of being teased. Even if he is at a loss and embarrassed, he still has to grin and let go.

Back in Shangdang area, it was popular to invite a son-in-law, that is, a daughter-in-law to entertain a new husband. After that, the new husband can choose to go to his daughter's house. In the past, a new husband had to inform his family by invitation, and he had to stay with his wife for nine days, which was called staying for nine days. The new husband "meets relatives" here, which not only deepens the understanding between the two in-laws, but also makes a preliminary acquaintance with relatives and friends of both sides, laying the foundation for future exchanges.

"Huimen" is the last marriage etiquette in most places of Shangdang. However, there is also a custom of "living when the moon is full" in this area. After a month of marriage, the new daughter-in-law went back to her mother's house for a month before returning to her husband's house. At this point, the lively and prosperous life gift came to an end.

In the first year of marriage, the woman's family visited her daughter at her husband's house on certain holidays, which is called festival chasing. Chasing the festival is usually twice. The first time was near August 15, and the gifts included a set of moon cakes and fresh fruits. The second time, near the Spring Festival, traditional gifts are patterned pasta, such as light cakes, bean pillows, noodles rabbits, iron rings and so on. Pastry is now widely used.