Playful classic quotations

1. I like to make friends, especially girlfriends.

2. If women are not cruel to themselves, men will be cruel to women.

3. It’s going to rain and my mother wants to get married, so let him go!

4. If heaven is sentimental, heaven will also grow old. If man is sentimental, he will die early!

5. My destiny is determined by me and not by Heaven. If Heaven wants to destroy me, I will destroy Heaven.

6. No matter how ugly you are, you still have to fall in love and talk about the world being filled with love.

7. The Internet is like a glass of beer, it is best drunk when it is foamy.

8. A proud fox is as fierce as a tiger, but a downcast phoenix is ??worse than a chicken.

9. Take a health checkup before getting married, and take an intelligence test when you are in love!

10. We promised to grow old together, but you secretly baked it.

11. Spring is a time when mental illness is most common, so everyone should pay attention.

12. Are you tired? Just be tired, comfort is reserved for the dead.

13. God said: Don’t forget to bring an umbrella when you go out. I will water the flowers soon.

14. The quality of the military quilt is so good that there is no signal for mobile phones at all when hiding under the quilt!

15. Sometimes I feel inexplicably annoyed, but I can’t explain why.

16. How can you get married without experiencing scum? No one can be a mother casually.

17. Can you say these two simple words good night to me forever!

18. Summer is just not good. When you are poor, you can’t even drink the northwest wind.

19. True fate is not God’s arrangement, but your initiative.

20. Be careful and attentive when dealing with others, but don’t be petty!

21. People who do not smoke or drink are very selfish. Generally it cannot be trusted for life.

22. Don’t use the theory of relativity to test Einstein, just like don’t use charcoal barbecue.

23. You normal people can talk while standing without having a lumbar disc herniation.

24. I spend all my time losing weight except eating, and you still say I don’t have perseverance?

25. I know that there are always banquets in the world, but at least, I want to have a good time at the banquet!

26. Showing off happiness in a high-profile way will make others jealous; complaining about hardship will add another obstacle.

27. Youth is like toilet paper. There is a lot of it, but it is not enough after using it.

28. I was about to jump off the building, and you turned around. You changed your mind and I just landed.

29. The pig hit the tree. Did you hit the pig? Did you rear end it?

30. I don’t count stars every day when I get off work. Sometimes I can also watch the sunrise.

31. Hold the child’s hand and drag the child away. If Ziruo refused to leave, he was knocked unconscious and continued to be dragged away.

32. I suddenly discovered that as long as I am happy, the world will become beautiful instantly.

33. A young girl is valuable, but a young woman is more valuable. If a rich woman is around, both can be thrown away.

34. When I was a child, the thickest letters were love letters; when I grow up, the thickest letters are bank statements.

35. The so-called simplicity, those with wings are angels, and those without wings are idiots.

36. Is money really that important to you? I talked for more than an hour without losing a penny.

37. Life is like an electrocardiogram. If you want it to be smooth sailing without ups and downs, you will have to die.

38. Marriage is the tomb of love, so without marriage, there is no place to die.

39. Good food can’t last three meals, good clothes hangers can’t last half a month, but good books can last a lifetime.

40. If you love me, say it out loud! If you hate me, just hide it in your heart for the rest of your life!

41. I am a passerby that you turn around and forget about. Why should I accompany you to the end of the world in wasting your time?

42. I once wanted to be a troubled boy, but I have lived by the rules for so many years.

43. I can’t hold back the rising noise, the house price has exceeded 10,000 yuan; the mortgage will be exhausted until the death date, and the tears will dry up after the property rights are obtained!

44. Please stop dressing up and give other women some confidence!

45. People are born on the bed and die on the bed. If they want to live or die, they are also on the bed.

46. If it is sunny, you will be fine. In this weather, it seems that you are no longer here!

47. Oh my god! This world is so crazy that even mice are being mistresses for cats!

48. Apart from being a aunt, you don’t look like a girl the rest of the time!

49. Many girls got Han Hong’s disease, but they did not die.

50. As far as your thoughts go, roll as far as you go; as fast as the speed of light, you roll as fast as you can.

51. There are only two things I can’t do in my life: I can’t do this, and I can’t do that.

52. Can you please not appear on the street too often? Otherwise, traffic accidents will increase!

53. Some people persist to the end, some persist to the bottom, and some persist to Detroit.

54. I want to find a man who looks like King Kong to stand on the tallest building in the United States and jerk off for me.

55. Burn incense for one year so that you and I can meet each other, burn incense for 10 years so that you and I can meet each other, and burn incense for 100 years so that you and I can know each other.

56. He is always calm before encountering temptation; he is always unyielding before being tortured!

57. Please don’t call me a homebody, please call me a closed home; please don’t call me a homebody, please call me Madame Curie. .

58. Actually, I don’t know how to tell jokes, but someone always asks me to tell one, and before I tell it, you all laugh.

59. These years of experience have taught me one truth, that is, as long as you work hard, there is nothing in the world that you cannot mess up.

60. I have liked you for a long time, and I have been waiting for you for a long time. Now, I have to leave, which will take longer than a long, long time.

61. It is easy for artists to compete with each other for beauty. Fighting for beauty is their business, but we belong to the category of competition.

62. Love at first sight must happen at least once in a person's life. From this point of view, I have made many people live their lives in vain.

63. I always think that happiness is something that makes people fall apart. What happens when you let go and turn your back on your horse!

64. The collapse was when an old lady walked into KFC and said to the waiter, "How can I get to McDonald's?"

65. Break the wife's lifelong system and implement the aunt's shareholding system. Introduce the young lady competition system and promote the lover contract system.

66. Boss, is money really that important to you? I talked for more than three hours and didn’t get a penny drop?

67. If I became the HR manager, the first thing I would do is to promote myself to be the boss.

68. Buying a computer but not having broadband is like having all the food and wine prepared but becoming a monk before eating.

69. Reality is like a stone, and spirit is like an egg. The stone is hard, but the egg is life.

70. The reason for the tragedy of love: when you get better, you don’t give the other person space; when you get angry, you don’t give the other person a chance.

71. When you are passionately in love. They promise to have a good relationship in the next life. After getting married, they often suspect that they created a bad relationship in the previous life.

72. I am very poor, my servant is also very poor, my gardener is also very poor, and my driver is also very poor.

73. My girlfriend is so kind to me. In order to let me celebrate Singles’ Day, she called her last night and a man answered the phone!

74. You may not have watery and sparkling eyes, but your eyes should also be passionate and captivating.

75. Youth is short-lived, so it is best to express your love as early as possible. Our slogan is: Confess early, reject early, and feel at ease early.

76. Being rich comes from being dissatisfied, and being rich comes from being able to be refined. Being poor is due to lack of knowledge, and being humble is due to having no spine.

77. You may not have a cluster of cherry lips and two rows of shell teeth, but your conversation should be elegant, refined and witty.

78. I prayed to Jesus for a solid and stable life. He thought for a while and said, let’s talk about world peace first!

79. I am just a piece of straw paper, facing my face, touching my butt, and finally thrown into the arms of the trash can.

80. People invented clothes to hide their shame and took off their clothes because of fashion. The relationship between civilization and clothes.

81. Toasting is an art, drinking wine is a technique, being drunk is a trick, and staying drunk after a thousand cups is a self-defense technique.

82. There are two kinds of cutest girls in the world, one is beautiful; the other is smart, and you are a smart and beautiful girl.

83. My dear, you have to believe me. I feel dizzy even sitting on a boat, let alone riding two boats?

84. The sun comes out and shines on the earth! Welcome to the show! If you ask me which one I am, I will be nicknamed Xiao Gong Li!

85. The most painful thing in life is that after going through a super storm, not only did you not see the rainbow, but you also caught a cold.

86. Fans are like flowers in a pot. They are very caring to my little brother. They say you are a fan, but I think you are better than your own mother.

87. I can’t quarrel with my wife, so every time I lose my quarrel, I secretly adjust my wife’s electronic scale by kilograms!

88. I am charming and courageous, far-sighted and down-to-earth, with good taste but diligent and introspective. Although I have many shortcomings, I hope everyone will forgive me!

89. Falling in love at first sight, infatuated again, spending all day long trying to win your heart, taking great pains, thinking so hard, don’t you understand my heart!

90. You are from Yuanmou, Yunnan, and I am from Zhoukou, Beijing. Let me hold your plush hand! love! Let's walk upright!

91. Water is small in the ocean, but it is great in the desert.

A chicken is small among cranes, but among quails it is considered great!

92. The three major tragedies of a dinner party: the people you wanted to invite did not come, the people who came had nothing to do with you, and you were the only one left awake when the bill came.

93. Baked sweet potato is like the Chinese proverb about the affair between a man and a woman. It is better to steal it than not to steal it, and the fragrance is worse than the taste.

94. If you meet a man like Guo Fu, just marry him. They take care of their families and insist on not traveling far away from Asia for decades. Men like this should be cherished.

95. When investors make money, they hear about it, but when they lose money, they encounter it themselves. They don’t believe it when the bull market comes, and they don’t admit it when the bear market comes.

96. God will regret not adding a wagging dog's tail to people, thus reducing the effect of countless expressions.

97. Find someone who is beautiful when you are young, find someone who is hard-working and capable when you get married, find someone who is wealthy after divorce, and find someone who is lingering after you die.

98. My father had the habit of grinding his teeth. When he was a child, he woke up and his mother was gone. When he saw his father grinding his teeth, he thought he had eaten his mother, and he cried miserably!

99. The wife said to her husband: You are responsible for making money to support the family, and I am responsible for looking beautiful. After thinking for two seconds, my husband said: You really look like Ruhua.

100. Contentment is the preservative of sweetness; consideration is the panacea for disputes; freshness is the sensor of life; touching is the thermos of emotion. Popular witty classic quotations today

1. Anything I can’t let go must be because I can’t have it

2. To explain is to cover up, and to cover up is to tell a story

3. I fought against fat and almost died

4. The boat hit the bridge and sank naturally

5. Do all the bad things you can do while you are young. Not a few years.

6. Life is to be born and live

7. You once told me that you will love me forever. I understand love, but what is forever< /p>

8. Seven-year-old boys are the most terrifying creatures on earth. They have curiosity, action, destructive power and the "Protection of Minors Act"

9. People are more important than words And Youxin - I won't pay back the money if I don't

10. Summer is not good. When you are poor, you can't even drink the northwest wind. Fortunately, it is autumn now.

11. Although I believe in eachother, I may not believe in you

12. Special people never say that they are special, such as me.

13. There are only two things in my life: 1. Neither this nor 2. Neither that

14. An adult is not comfortable, and being comfortable is not an adult

15 , I know that there are always banquets in the world, but, at least, I want to have a good time at the banquet

16. People can’t get along with each other just by being polite

17. Every day When I’m in trouble, I recite the Tibetan Sutra: “Oh Mani Moo Mama”, which translates into English:

18. Kindness means that when others are hungry, I don’t eat meat

19. I once wanted to be a troubled boy, but I have lived by the rules for so many years.

20. One day your name will appear in my family’s household registration book

21. Think about the salary comparison, forget it, I don’t want to live anymore.

22. After living for more than 20 years, I have been unable to do anything for the motherland and the people. Every time I think about this, I feel heartbroken.

23. No matter how ugly you are, you still have to fall in love and talk about the world being filled with love.

24. When you put on the wedding dress, I also put on the cassock

25. I prayed to Jesus for a solid and stable life. He thought for a while and said, let’s talk first. It’s about world peace

26. If you love me, just say it out loud! If you hate me, just hide it in your heart for the rest of your life

27. I planted a bunch of boyfriends in the spring, and now autumn is here, tsk tsk, there are no harvests. Various witty quotes

1. Real dinosaurs glow at night when the lights are turned off.

2. Don’t think that just because you have shit on your head, you are a diamond gourd baby.

3. I originally wanted to eat my sorrow one bite at a time, but unexpectedly I became fat one bite at a time.

4. No matter what age it is, there is no sense of gangsterism at all.

5. I can’t find it everywhere, and I still lament my small waist back then. There is no spare time for hatred, and a body full of fat.

6. If I say a word to you, I will feel like I am a prostitute.

7. I would rather be fat and exquisite than be thin and the same.

8. Your sentimental thighs block all my paths!

9. Men hate those who seduce their wives, especially those who give up halfway.

10. During class, someone passed a note. I really wanted to laugh when I saw the content. What he wrote was: Are you there?

11. Female: What are your views on sex? Male: There are many opinions, but there are no practices.

12. There is a kind of crash called entering the password incorrectly, there is a kind of panic called logging in from another place, there is a kind of emotion called invisible and visible, and there is a kind of loss called not asking for permission.

13. Yesterday, I went to the city to participate in the pigeon releasing competition, but I went alone.

14. Many people break into your life just to teach you a lesson and then turn around and leave.

15. I planted a bunch of boyfriends in the spring, but now that autumn is here, wow, there are no harvests~~

16. The most romantic thing I can think of is to be with you We went to rob you. Unfortunately, you were arrested while we were absconding with the money. You would rather die than be arrested. You were imprisoned, leaving me alone, dejected, and spending the rest of my life like water.

17. Everyone is "original" when they are born. Sadly, many people gradually become "pirated".

18. When most people are concerned about whether you fly high, only a few people care about whether you are tired from flying. This is friendship.

19. The most charming person is Master Kong. Thousands of people follow him every day.

20. After the teacher finished the lesson, he said: Is there anything else you don’t understand? I stretched and said, "Teacher, what's this class?"

21. Looking at a temple from a distance, looking at our alma mater from a close distance, there are more than 300 nuns and more than 10,000 monks.

22. Life is a chess game, and I am willing to be a pawn. Although my actions are slow, who has ever seen me take a step back? Classic witticisms_Internet witticisms_Quotes collection

1 If one day I become a gangster, please tell others that I was innocent

2 Although I believe in eachother, I may not believe you~ ~

3 Life is like a play, and play is like life. Looking back suddenly; living is a kind of pressure.

4 If a tree doesn’t have its bark, it will surely die, but if a woman doesn’t have shame, she will be invincible.

5 Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

6 In the long road of life, there will always be a few wrong steps.

If I take off my clothes, I am a beast. If I don’t take off my clothes, I will be a beast.

7 I never make typos, but I always make mistakes.

8 It’s not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose. I can't give you happiness, but I can give you comfort!

9 No matter how great the truth is, it will become a cliché if you say it too much.

10 Now I know why my pants are designed with pockets. It’s because no one is holding my hand, so I carry the pockets on my own.

11 Those who work in public institutions are called iron rice bowls, and those who work in private companies are called disposable dishes.

12 Distance does not produce beauty, but the third person.

13 So and so, do you want to be buried in my ancestral grave after death?

14. There is always a group of invisible friends lying in your friend list like dead people, occasionally pretending to be dead, and changing their epitaphs from time to time.

15 You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you have lost weight, I have lost weight because you are sick,

I smile because you have become stronger. , I am rich because I sold you

Pig!

16 Don’t let too much yesterday occupy your today!

17 Breaking up means not loving anymore. Those high-sounding reasons are not to make the other party feel better, but to make yourself feel better!

18 After reading "Lust, Caution", a monk said it was boring, and others asked; what is so boring, the monk said; religion is boring!

19 Miss, I’m sorry, I’m not handsome. But not every woman has the opportunity.

20 The strong wind rolled up the dark clouds. Between the dark clouds and the sea, there was a petrel, connecting us. Let us meet here and have a love affair at dusk~

21 Not at first. The one who was given was a woman, but it was the woman who was eager to get it later!

22. All men and women after marriage are overjoyed.

23. Money is a black hole, and family, friendship, affection and loyalty will become invisible and disappear without a trace.

24 The procedure for attending a memorial service is often to receive a profound life education first, and then everyone smokes, drinks and plays cards together.

25 If you want to test my patience, please prepare your patience first.

26 Nongfu Spring is a bit sweet, and the woman’s words are a bit suspended.

27 People who say there is a previous life are lying to themselves; people who say there is a next life are lying to others.

28 What is birth, aging, illness and death? It is better to live well, to grow old slowly, to get sick late, and to die quickly.

29 If you see the shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.

30 If there is no wind, the clouds will not move;

If there is no water, fish cannot swim;

If there is no sun, the moon will have no light;

Without you

Foolish people would not exist.

31 Give me some sunshine and I will rot.

32 Suddenly thought of a question, can the walnuts pinched by the door still replenish the brain?

33 Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

34 You look infertile!

35 Summer is here, girls can wear skirts, but not above the knees!

36 The latest definition of tourism: It is to go from a place that you are tired of to a place that others are tired of.

37 We had a small disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to treat gold like dirt.

38 When I turned into a swan, you were still an egg!

39 When a woman sees something she likes, she loses sight of the danger.

40 If I burn incense for one year, I can meet you, if I burn incense for three years, I can get to know you, and if I burn incense for ten years, I can cherish you.

Therefore, for my happiness in the next life, I am willing to convert to Christ!

41 Don’t use excuses to deal with me, you can’t afford to deal with me.

42 The iron fences on a university campus are all pointed, and the warning signs on them are as follows:

If a boy accidentally turns over, he will become a girl

If a girl accidentally flips the page, she will turn into a woman

43 The ideal is very plump, but the reality is very skinny.

44 If a man is reliable, a sow will climb a tree.

45 You know my strengths and weaknesses, and I know your depths.

46 As long as it is not obscene, we are mainstream!

47 Don’t fool me with the 1983 xo, get a bottle from this year.

48 The so-called unsuitable for children is actually that adults touchingly leave the risk of making mistakes to themselves.

49 You can lead the industry with foresight, catch up with hindsight, or be eliminated without knowing it.

50 Holding your lover’s hand is like going back to the 1890s;

Holding the hand of a female classmate and regretting not doing so;

Holding the hand of my aunt I found that I held the wrong hand before.

51 Beauty is not discounted. My sister is called beauty, and my sister is called discounted!

52 I prayed to Jesus for a solid and stable life. He thought for a while and said, let’s talk about world peace first...

53 The Four Great Void: The Boss’s Kidney, the manuscript of the third lecture, the lady’s tears, the table from the Bureau of Statistics.

54 I took the floppy disk to the refrigerator and froze it for a day, and it turned into a hard disk! In this way, I have another hard drive.

55 I am in a daze, not here now. If you feel more dazed, look down.

56 There is only a mistress who doesn’t work hard, and there is no family that cannot be broken up.

57 Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, one on the first day of the lunar month and the other on the fifteenth day of the lunar month.

58 If you don’t study for a day, no one will notice. If you don’t study for a week, you will start to get angry. If you don’t study for a month, your IQ will be lower than that of a pig.

59 I planted a bunch of girlfriends in the spring, and now autumn is here, tsk tsk, no harvest~~

60 Wallet, what’s wrong with you? Wallet, answer my wallet, you Why have you lost weight again? Wake up.

61 Men, men are really pitiful, they work hard to make money, handing over the money is inevitable, and having a lover is also dangerous.

62 I don’t miss my wife, but my wife always thinks of me.

63. As far as your thoughts go, roll as far as you go; as fast as the speed of light, you roll as fast as you can.

64 Men are lustful, so they cannot withstand temptation; women are talkative, so they cannot withstand loneliness.

65 Real leadership does not lie in how many gentlemen you command, but in how many villains you control.

66 I will definitely be reincarnated as a woman in my next life, and then marry a man like me.

67 Tell me, do you want to die or no longer want to live?

68 In order to cultivate my aura, I often eat garlic, onions and radishes. Now, I am full of aura from top to bottom and front and back.

69 Picking up girls is like hanging out on QQ. If you coax her for 2 hours a day, you will soon be able to enjoy the sun.

70 What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is still mine!

71 If I am asked to sweep the floor, I will never wash the dishes. If I am asked to wash the dishes, I will never sweep the floor. Do both at the same time? You think I'm an alien!