Qiaopi love story daquan

1. I didn't see your mood get worse when your heart beat faster. I dreamed that your time passed too fast. Are you waiting for my next life?

I really want to break the earth in half in this direction, so that the distance between me and you can be shortened to a place where I can ride a bike for five minutes.

3. I am cow dung, you are a flower, you are tofu, and I am scum. We were a family 300 years ago.

4, we should miss every day, but don't meet every day. You can date someone else as long as I don't find out. I cheat occasionally, but I promise my heart is on your side.

We should miss each other every day, but don't meet each other every day. I am in charge of beauty, and you are in charge of making money. You can love someone else, but don't let me find out. If I meet you, hum ... cook noodles with rat poison!

6. I am excited when I see your name, and moved when I hear your voice. I asked you out again and again for fear that I would make a move, but I didn't move when I saw you.

7. I am poor, but I will love you forever; I am crazy, but I will be crazy for you; I am ugly, but I will give you the most beautiful gentleness! Don't say I use your crooked brain every day. If the earth does not turn to the side of the sun, how can we have spring?

8. For me, please take good care of yourself, eat when you are hungry, wear when you are cold, sleep when you are sleepy, and turn your head when you see a handsome guy!

9. Weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning. I expect to miss you continuously in the afternoon. Affected by this low mood, the night will become a big dream, and the mood will drop by five degrees. It is expected that this weather will last until I see you.

10, water is flowing, fish is swimming, there is no reason to love you; The wind is blowing and the rain is falling. I really want to hug and kiss you. What about love in heaven, love on earth and romance?

1 1, the world is bright, and chrysanthemums have no regrets; There are white stones in the world, and plum blossoms have no regrets; There is Ji Kang in the world, and the strings have no regrets; There is Yu Chunshun in the world, and there is no regret in entering the wilderness; I have you and I have no regrets.

12, honey, your legs must be very sour, right? Because you've been running around in my head all day!

13, you know? I haven't seen you these days, so I want to commit suicide: I want to hang myself with noodles, start with tofu, cut my pulse with cotton swabs, use coke as poison, and jump off a building with a parachute!

14, you are bread in the morning, ice cream in summer, cotton-padded jacket in winter, light bulb in the evening, garlic in Shandong and pepper in Sichuan.

15, you are my heart, you are my liver, you are three quarters of my life. You are my stomach, you are my lungs, and you are the red rose in my heart!

16, you are crazy, I am stupid, and I have no teeth!

17, you are Baiyun, I am Qingfeng, and I am with you; You are a red flower, I am a green leaf, and I set you off; You are instant noodles, I am boiled water, and I want to soak you.

18, I can only describe your beauty with plants. Face is melon seeds, waist is willow, eyebrows are willow leaves, eyes are longan, mouth is cherry and hands are lotus roots.

19, without me by your side, I should wear warm clothes when it's cold, eat enough when I'm hungry, and have a good dream when I sleep. I'm the only one in my dream, so I don't want anything else!

20. I am afraid that I will get an electric shock when I see you; I can't see you, I need to recharge; Without you, I'll cut off the power.

2 1, I am sick today, very ill. The doctor said I was lovesick, and only you can cure me. Will you come? I overheard you tell God that you won't get married unless I get married, so I don't want you to betray God. ...

I have told you many times that you should be careful not to go out at night, but you just won't listen. That was not the case. I dreamed again last night, which made me unwilling to wake up!

23. I don't answer your phone, I don't talk to you, I don't hug you, I don't look at you when I stand in front of you, I don't kiss you when I lean on my chest. Actually, what I want to do is.

24. Loving you is my career, thinking of you is my career, hugging you is my specialty, and kissing you is my specialty!

A witty love story for a woman

A witty love story for a woman

1, as God is my witness, my shadow is always with you, and my eyes are always watching you. Damn, I mean, except in the shower!

It is said that a man has to climb three mountains to find a wife. For your fate, can you let me climb two less so that I can catch up with you earlier and wait for your answer? If you agree, please reply: I agree, if not, please reply: I just agree. If you don't reply, I will acquiesce in your unconditional consent.

Five hundred years ago, I was an ordinary worker in your family. I fell in love with you when I peeked at your embroidery posture at the window the other day. Don't blame me for not telling you! Because there were no text messages at that time!

To tell you the truth, I won't kill you or scold you to death. My plot is to kill you!

5, everyone wakes up and I am drunk alone, and my heart is the most precious. I don't regret meeting true love, and this life is only for you. (The secret is in the fifth word of every sentence)

6. My family name is me and I love you! Miss you! I understand you! Fang Ming loves you! The baby's name is miss you! This book is called Dream of You! The nickname is chasing you! My friend asked me to take care of you! You can let me kiss you!

7.m: May I ask you a question? Which side do you like to sleep on?

Woman: On the right, what's the matter?

M: Then I'll sleep on the left from today and leave the right for you.

Woman: You.

Dear, for you, I will cross the ocean and jump into the abyss without hesitation. I will overcome any difficulties! If it doesn't rain, I will find you on time on Sunday!

Come back quickly, I can't cook by myself. Come back quickly, the table is wonderful because of you. Don't leave me with an empty stomach! Clouds need clothes, flowers and capacity. I'm thinking that your face is red.

10, I shot into your heart with a small arrow of love, and you became my prisoner. I've decided to sentence you to life imprisonment and keep you in my heart forever without bail.

1 1, how many times have I told you, be careful at night, don't go out, you just won't listen, it's not, I dreamed again last night, which makes me unwilling to wake up!

12, I'll introduce you to the best machine in this century: it can generate a lot of money, and it also has the functions of cleaning, cooking and washing. That is me. Marry me.

13, you know, I hate you, because you stole my heart, my love and my feelings, which will occupy the rest of my life. What I hate most is that you waste a dime of my mobile phone fee!

14, green mountains and green waters are really good, and beautiful women are loved by everyone. I must fall in love with you for the next generation of my motherland.

15, like, is a touch of love. Love is deep love. I hope we can go home together in the future, instead of sending you home.

16, since I had you, I have become a heartless person, because my heart and my liver have been stolen by you.

17. If you love me, you can kiss me. If you don't love me, I can kiss you, okay?

18, I can't eat in the morning because I miss you, I can't eat at noon because I miss you more, I can't eat at night because I miss you crazy, and I can't sleep at night because I'm hungry.

19, you are Baiyun, I am Qingfeng, with you; You are a red flower, I am a green leaf, and I set you off; You are instant noodles, I am boiled water, and I want to soak you.

20. You know what, honey? When we looked at each other, that moment was the most beautiful moment in the world. Even if I were given a village head, I would be wrong!

2 1, grasp the revolution and promote production, whatever you say!

22. I let a mosquito come to you, let it tell you that I miss you very much, let it kiss you for me, and hope that I don't light mosquito-repellent incense to scare it away, and it will tell you that I miss you very much!

To be honest, I don't want to fall in love with you now. I just want to marry you!

24. Pigs can't talk, but hum songs with their noses. Just like some girls, they always say: Hum!

25. If the water in the Pacific Ocean can be drained, it can douse my love for you. But can the water in the Pacific be scooped up? Can't! So I am destined to love you forever.

26, the feeling of missing you is like: cooking without salt; Apples should not be too sweet; Smoke less; Forgot to bring money when shopping. I will miss you when I have time, and I will miss you when I have no time. If I really can't spare the time, I'll do nothing but miss you.

27. You are my chocolate and I am your chocolate. How wonderful it is to see you. I miss you and feel very weak.

28. Did you hear the music? That's the voice that I love you.

Do you smell perfume? That's my regret that I miss being backward.

Do you hear the heartbeat? That's my yurt life.

See the rainbow? That's my happy smile to you.

29. If you don't love me, I am worried. The world is full of beautiful women, but not as gentle as you!

30. You are a book, a bag, a mouse, a cat, wood, glue, pork and a knife. We are so close, you pay for dinner tonight!

Classic wisecracks _ network wisecracks _ wisecracks

1 If one day I become a hooligan, please tell others that I am innocent.

Although I believe in vows of eternal love, I may not believe you ~ ~

3 Life is like a drama, and drama is like life, suddenly looking back; Being alive is a kind of pressure.

If a tree is not peeled, it will die. Women are shameless and invincible in the world.

Your ugliness has nothing to do with your face.

6 in a long life, there will always be a few wrong steps.

If I take off my clothes, I am an animal. I'm the devil wears Prada if I don't take off my clothes.

I never write typos, but I write interchangeable words.

It is not that I was careless, but that I did it on purpose. I can't give you happiness, but I can comfort you!

No matter how great the truth is, it will become a cliche if you talk too much.

10 Now I know why pants should be designed with pockets. That's because no one took my hand and walked away.

1 1 Those who work in public institutions are called iron rice bowls, and those who work in private enterprises are called disposable tableware.

12 distance produces not beauty, but a third party.

13 So who wants to be buried in my ancestral grave after death?

14 There are always a group of invisible friends lying on your friends list like dead people. Deceive the corpse occasionally and change the epitaph from time to time.

15 You are happy because I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you are thin, and I am thin because you are sick.

I laugh because you are strong, and I have money because I sold you.

Pig!

16 Don't let too many yesterdays occupy your today!

Breaking up with 17 means not loving. Those high-sounding reasons are not to make each other feel better, but to make themselves feel better!

18 After watching Lust, Caution, a monk said it was boring, and others asked. What is boring, the monk said; Religion is boring!

19 miss, I'm sorry, I'm not handsome. But not every woman has a chance.

There are dark clouds in the wind. There is a petrel between the dark clouds and the sea. Let's meet here and have a romantic love ~

2 1 at first, I didn't give it to women, but later the women were in a hurry!

Married men and women are overjoyed.

Money is a black hole, and affection, friendship, affection and loyalty will disappear without a trace.

The procedure of attending a memorial service is often to receive a profound life education first, and then everyone will smoke, drink and play cards together.

If you want to test my patience, please prepare your patience first.

Nongfu Spring is a little sweet, and women speak a little.

27 said that people in their previous lives were deceiving themselves; It is said that people in the next life are lying to others.

What is birth, illness and death? Live well, get old slowly, get sick late and die quickly.

If you see a shadow in front of you, don't be afraid, it's because there is sunshine behind you.

Without the wind, the clouds will not move;

Fish can't swim without water;

If there is no sun, the moon will have no light;

Without you,

Stupid people do not exist.

3 1 Give me some sunshine and I will rot.

Suddenly thought of a question, is the walnut caught in the door still healthy?

Give me a girl and I can create a country.

You look sterile!

Summer is coming, girls can wear skirts, but not over their knees!

The latest definition of tourism is from one's own tired place to another's tired place.

We have a little disagreement: she wants me to turn stone into gold, and I want her to treat gold like dirt.

When I become a swan, you are still an egg!

Women see what they like, but they don't see the danger.

If you burn incense for one year, you can meet you, incense for three years can know you, and incense for ten years can cherish you.

Therefore, for the happiness of my next life, I am willing to convert to Christ!

4 1 Don't perfunctory me, you can't afford to perfunctory me.

The iron fences in the university campus are all sharp, and the warning signs on them are as follows:

When a boy accidentally flips over, he becomes a girl.

When a girl accidentally turns it over, she becomes a woman.

The ideal is full and the reality is skinny.

Men are reliable, and sows can climb trees.

You know my length, and I know your depth.

As long as it's not dirty, we are the mainstream!

Don't fool me with the' 83 xo, have a bottle of this year's XO.

The so-called unsuitable for children, in fact, is that adults have done something to keep themselves in danger of making mistakes.

You can lead the industry with foresight, catch up after you know it, or be eliminated unconsciously.

50 holding a lover's hand is equivalent to returning to 1899;

Holding the hand of a female classmate, I regret not doing it that year;

Holding my aunt's hand, I found that I had held the wrong hand before.

5 1 Beauty is not discounted. Sister is called beauty, sister is called discount!

I prayed to Jesus to give me a stable life. He thought for a moment and said, let's talk about world peace first. ...

Four weaknesses: boss kidney, three speeches, miss tears, statistics table.

I took the floppy disk to the refrigerator and froze it for a day, then it became a hard disk! In this way, I have another hard disk.

I am in a daze, but I am not here now. If you are slow, look down.

56 There is only a mistress who doesn't work hard, and there is no inseparable home.

Your eyes are like the bright moon in the sky, one is the first day and the other is the fifteenth.

If you don't study for a day, no one will see it. If you don't study for a week, you will start to explode. If you don't study in January, your IQ will be lost to pigs.

I planted a bunch of girlfriends in spring, and now it's autumn. Gee, nothing ~ ~

Wallet, what happened to your wallet? Answer my wallet. Why have you lost weight again? Wake up.

6 1 Men are poor. They work hard to make money and inevitably have to pay. It's dangerous to have a lover.

I don't miss my wife, but she always thinks of me.

63 how far your thoughts are, how far you roll; You can roll as fast as the speed of light

64 men are lewd and can't stand the temptation; Women are easy to say, so they can't stand loneliness.

True leadership lies not in how many gentlemen you command, but in how many villains you control.

I must be reborn as a woman in my next life and then marry a man like me.

Tell me, do you want to die or not?

I often eat garlic, onions and radishes to cultivate my aura. Now, my body is full of aura.

Picking up girls is like hanging up QQ. Coax her for 2 hours every day, and it will soon be sunny.

What is yours is mine, and what is mine is mine!

7 1 If I want to sweep the floor, I will never wash the dishes. If I want to wash the dishes, I will never sweep the floor. Both? You think I'm an alien!

Witty love words with boyfriends

1. The day I fell in love with you was not because of how good you were, but because the sunshine was just enough that day.

Don't ask me if I have a boyfriend, it's against heaven for us immortals to fall in love with mortals.

It is not difficult to make another name, because the input method knows you.

I have countless attitudes towards you in this world, and I only love you.

For you, it won't change whether it is sunny or rainy.

When I saw a dog coming out of the bush, I couldn't help calling out your name.

7. I have seen many street signs, but why is there no way to your heart?

8. You never look back at me, but I always smile at you.

9. When you don't bother me, I think you are so annoying.

10. You buy me lipstick and I'll pay you back a little every day, okay?

1 1. As long as I have what you want, I will give it to you. What are you doing outside? Stay with me.

12. How special are you? Thousands of people can see you at a glance even if they are nearsighted.

13. Without your love ... living goals will be difficult to recover!

14. If I don't please you, fall in love with me.

15. If I have a tail, I'm afraid I'll shake it in front of you.

16. If someone asks you if I can chase you, then ask me if I can run.

17. Things always have to be sorted first. You should put the whole world first.

18. Peace is not enough. I want to have you all the year round.

19. You must take a bath before going to bed at night. You can't go to bed and sleep on the floor without washing.

20. I don't want a short tenderness, as long as you accompany me for a lifetime;

2 1. I have many superpowers, not just super cute.

22. I will stay here until you find me. Come on, I want to grow mushrooms.

23. I am shy and won't let me take the initiative in anything.

24. I just like you and love you. None of your business!

25. Can you not blink when I lie on your eyelashes?

26. I hope that we will be together forever, regardless of cold and heat, spring, summer, autumn and winter; We should write the legend of love, love is not old.

27. I have two ice creams. Come here, I'll show you.

I always feel that I have a special ability. Even if I can't see you, I will feel you.

29. My favorite word is eating, two words are sleeping and three words are your name.

How do you say I like you? It's warmer in winter than a stove, and sweeter than a cold cake in summer.

3 1. liking you is really the longest thing I have insisted on.

32. If you like someone, you want to shrink yourself into his pocket.

33. A clockwork machine always likes you more than the day before.

34. Be your baby and be spoiled.

35. Snacks are mine, and I will be yours in the future.

36. As long as I have breath, I won't leave you and bow to fate.

37. All beings suffer. You are a strawberry.