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Mother likes to tell us about her hard childhood. My mother was born in the countryside around the Cultural Revolution, a small village as poor as before.

The first ray of sunshine in the morning covered the earth, and cold winds mixed with earthy smell blew in this quiet small village. Broken brick houses, messy and orderly chicken houses and withered straw all make use of this most energetic moment to do farm work. A group of strong men, with bare arms and carrying burdens, walked step by step to the farmland. Steady and messy pace, shaking but watertight barrels, sunlight shining on their smooth backs, bean-sized sweat falling from their shoulders. The hoe rotates back and forth on the land rhythmically, the strong calf flattens the black and soft soil, and the white sweat towel swings back and forth on the arm. When you are thirsty, stick out your tongue and lick your chapped lips. It smells salty. They are so diligent in farming that they are so numb that they repeat such actions. The strong sunshine makes them squint, look up feebly, look helplessly at the distance and bury their heads hopefully.

A little girl got up in disgrace, put on a thin and tattered little coat, made a fire and prepared a breakfast. The wind is biting, and the stars in the sky are still smiling at her kindly. She has been walking at night with a bamboo basket and a sickle on her back. The little girl is very sensible, because she knows that her family is poor, and she doesn't want to have a bite of porridge and go to work hungry. In fact, she was very scared. At five o'clock in the morning, she only heard her own footsteps in the silence, and the dog barked from time to time. But at the thought of those young faces at home, she got up the courage again, humming her own songs, and sometimes went to the distant mountains when she left. She doesn't quite remember the way up the mountain, because she used to go up the mountain with her big sister next door, but now she has moved away, and I heard that she has gone further than the hillside.

Carrying a heavy bamboo basket, listening to her rapid breathing, the little girl will gently shake to both sides at every step, and then struggle to keep her balance. The noon sun stung her every skin, the mountain road was steep, and her stomach was growling. She cut all the grass she could see, but the bamboo basket was not full. Looking at the empty loess, she shivered inexplicably. She was thinking about it when she got home, but she would only be scolded. She finished mowing the grass and walked halfway up the mountain. Suddenly, she miraculously found a piece of green on another mountain. She is very proud of her discovery. She was involuntarily led by an inexplicable force. She didn't go there, but trotted all the way. She really wants to tell her sister what she found. She dreamed of going back tonight to see her mother's gratified eyes. When she came down from the mountain, she found it a little scary. She tried to climb, but she couldn't find enough support.

Because of poverty, my mother was sold by my grandfather three times, but my grandmother stopped me, my uncle stopped me, and finally my mother stayed.

To be continued …

When I was very very young

Memory is incoherent, so I have to jump vaguely. It seems that I have been to Shenzhen since I was one or two years old and began to live in Nantou. I don't really remember. My mother told me that I also like to climb on the ground, on the dark concrete floor. When I see something, I put it in my mouth. When I'm full, my mother slaps my ears. Maybe that's when I became greedy. In my mother's memory, I imagined the moment I stood up, struggling to get up and pick up something to eat along the foot of the stool, and finally learned to stand slowly, then rushed wildly and never went anywhere again. I think it was because I felt very fulfilled at that time. I rushed to someone's house naked and grinning, crying for the crawling child, and then ran home to ask my mother for sugar. When the whistleblower comes, there will be more fingerprints on my ass and my earth-shattering crying. Mom said that as long as I sleep, she will come out from the kitchen to see me from time to time, and every time she sees it, she will cover me with a dress, and every time she sees it, she will cover me with another dress. Later, my uncle came to my house and was surprised to ask, are you going to heat that child to death? Mom suddenly realized that she helped me open layers of clothes like hills.

I lived in my hometown for a period of time, and after my first memory, I went back to Shenzhen and moved to Tian Xin. Dad shares a room with one of his friends. Because of chaozhou people, many children are mixed up. At that time, my mother gave birth to a second sister. I was five years old. It's also a vague memory. Mom said that his second daughter ran to my sister and sprinkled talcum powder on her eyes. Then my brother ran over and bit her ass. Finally, the three children cried together. That's it. The crying, laughter and chirping noise at that time were the main memories. It is also the mother's oral statement. Dad used to be a very strange man who didn't care about anything. He was a strange man when he lived on Ninth Street. 12 o'clock, the family next door finished broadcasting a series of anecdotes, red lights, fierce images of Guan Gong, white fences and unclear distances. I cried with my mother's feet, my brother cried with my mother's hand, my sister cried in bed, and my mother stood in front of the white fence and looked at the dark night and cried alone. Another time, my mother fell asleep, and my sister cried so badly that she asked my father to get up and help her break pills. Dad had to get up and press them a few times. When they couldn't be broken, he poured them all into the toilet and then hid them under the bed. Every time we are sick, my mother will call my father and tell him not to call so late and go home early. Dad would yell at his mother and say, "Cut the crap, don't you watch it yourself?" It's not like I have no money to support you. "Then I'll turn it off. My mother brought us up with one hand and one foot, so every time I talk about the past, her eyes will be moist. The only thing my father did was: "Once my second sister shit all over her ass, other guests came to visit, and my mother went to buy food. The aunt who shared the rent said, your daughter has shit all over her ass. How can you assume it's okay? "? Then he has to help his sister wash her ass. From then on, my mother would laugh secretly every time she talked about it, and my sister would proudly say that she had a golden fart.

At that time, my mother kept telling me that I picked it up. When there was a flood in the countryside, there was a red bucket with a doll in it, and that was me. Every time she says, I will forcibly pull her skirt and say that I was born to you and I was born to you. Dad will fan the flames. Yes, the red barrel is still in my hometown. I don't believe it. When I cried, my mother said. When I was old, I watched too many TV programs. My mother said I picked it up, so I said DNA testing. When I was older, I said, yes, hehe, of course I got it back. Otherwise, how can my brother be so fat and I am so thin? Then mom said, hey, when you grow up, how cute you were when you were a child. I smiled and said, well, how could I be so stupid when I was a child?

I went to preschool and went to school. I only remember an annoying class teacher, because I often don't hand in my homework and always hit me on the ear. She wears a pair of high heels. I always think she likes to abuse children because no one wants her. I still play until twelve o'clock every night, and then go to bed. At one o'clock, I will suddenly get up because I haven't finished my homework. I will grab a pencil. I racked my brains to write crooked pinyin. My mother asked me to write it the next day. I cried and told my mother that the teacher would listen to me because she had never read a book, but she still helped me copy all the pinyin stiffly and put me to sleep until I hired a nanny.

A disease

I always like to sleep on my mother's arm. Later, when I got my own room, I began to sleep with my brother. I'm not used to it. When I was six years old, I had a serious illness. All I remember is dizziness, fever and cold sweat. Mom kept talking, her voice was vague, her dry lips kept squirming, and the ice pack melted.

I fell asleep in a daze. . . I saw a child jumping around in the water, diving into the water from time to time and sticking his head out from time to time. I saw Godzilla the dinosaur stepping on the house again and exploding everywhere. I ran like hell, afraid of death, and my heart beat out of breath. I saw another child who looked exactly like me sitting in a chair, with a stiff expression and inflexible body. A group of people I know seem to have said something to the children and then left in a hurry. I really want to talk to them, but they don't even know I exist. In the blink of an eye, their hair changed from black to white, their skin changed from delicate to old, and everything disappeared in silence. It's just that I was still that child, and I began to grow old on the stool and became something I didn't recognize. Another group of new people talked to him and then left indifferently, but he just sat on the stool forever until the last person who talked to him left, and he looked at me thoughtfully. The memory of six years ago was blank, as if I was still trying to crawl yesterday. Now I'm six, tomorrow I'm twelve, the day after tomorrow I'm eighteen, and the day after tomorrow is the end of the world. Suddenly I opened my eyes. I saw my brother sleeping next to me, and his chest ached. He rushed out, cried and knocked on my mother's room, knocked hard, and then fell asleep again. . .

When I woke up again, I saw my mother sitting next to me. She said I slept for a long time. I saw tears in her eyes. I saw bloodshot eyes in her swollen eyes. I stuck out my bitter tongue and said, "Mom, I'm hungry."

This is a very vague memory. Maybe I once talked to old man Time, but I forgot, but I always feel that I have changed a little since then.

Super guerrilla captain

Mother murmured. We consciously turned off the TV, hid in the closet and "wow" and held our breath. I put up my index finger and advised my brother not to make any noise, and my sisters also consciously hid under the bed. The door opened and my mother told the investigator in blunt Mandarin. As the sound got closer, I thought I heard his footsteps coming this way, mixed with coughing. It is said that those people will take the super-born children one by one, then abuse them, or sell them, or I dare not think about it any more. In my mind, there is an evil face full of scars. He waved to my brother and sister, and then we were taken to a concentration camp, where it was haunted at night and ghosts would conjure up souls. I'm going crazy, but fortunately, my voice is getting smaller and my footsteps are in the other direction. Then I put those clothes on tightly, hoping to hide them completely in the pile of clothes. Sweat drips from me, which is not like hide-and-seek, because the punishment result is different, so I want to be as invisible as possible. After a long time, my mother called us, which was also a false alarm. It turned out to be a gas survey. My mother said that if we didn't listen, they would arrest us and sell us as beggars. My brother is full, too. Mom, I thought of an idea: "When the next investigator comes, I will pretend to be my brother's friend, and then I will tell the uncle that my mother is dead and I am alone at home." Mom will touch his big head and say in Chaozhou,' You idiot, well, mom is dead and ask your father to bring a little mom.' It didn't work, so my brother answered and took it. Because the bed there is soft and there is no cooking, my mother will buy us a box lunch and occasionally take us to have morning tea. Then those three aunts and six grandmothers will come and reveal the news, saying that who was arrested and tied up and who was fined a lot of money, saying that I can go home when the wind is not tight. I really hope this kind of life can continue, because I can eat different things every day, and the most important thing is that I can eat instant noodles. Life is like this. At that time, we were always like thieves, hiding in the east and hiding in the west. Mom urged dad to apply for an account many times, but dad always put it off as if it didn't matter. As he spoke, he would take out a cigarette, spit out phlegm, fold up his trouser legs and call and say, Oh, what, what, where is the opening ceremony tonight? Because of this, we little black households will follow my mother to the hotel several times a year, and then I can eat my box lunch happily.

Because of family planning, my mother has instilled this idea in us for a long time. When people ask how many people are there in your family, they either don't answer or say there is only one. So even if I take my brother out to play, I will pretend that we don't know each other in front of people I don't know. Before I was eight years old, because the youngest sister was brought up by my second uncle and the youngest brother was not born yet, there were only four of us at home. But every time my classmates come home to play, they will smile and say, Wow, you have so many homes. I was just laughing with them. Later, they gradually took this as a joke, and I began to feel ashamed of being born in such a family. They said I was the captain of the football team, and they said my father was a lecherous. I hate this word. Maybe they just smiled unintentionally, but it hurt me. When I was in fifth grade, I remember. Just talking about family planning, "those uneducated families are obsessed with having children, which brings great burden to the country." China has a vast territory and abundant resources, but the per capita amount is pitiful. The reason why family planning should be implemented is to control the population, people without quality and the advantages of the only child ... "The teacher casually asked his classmates. Most people say that there is only one family. One classmate said that there are four people in her family. Wow. The students smiled and began to shout. I bowed my head unconsciously. The text just now knocked on my heart word by word. I was overburdened, uneducated and without quality ... invisibly, I became a traitor, because our family did not practice family planning, because our family had a super life. I'm afraid the teacher will point at me, and my heart will jump like an ant in a hot nest. I close my eyes hard, and I want to keep a clear head like an ostrich. I didn't answer. There are six students in his family, and the voice of a classmate spread out, and then the whole class gave out a wow, showing an exaggerated expression. Some people in the class booed, and some people said, how much! Some people say that your father is really nice! Some people say that I really envy you having brothers and sisters ... my face is burning, and all kinds of laughter echo in the air. I can't tell which sentence is kind and which is ironic. Only those harsh words mercilessly pierced my eardrum and entered my heart, forming a scar. I hate that teacher because she goes on with her class. I always think she did it on purpose. She has long known that there are six people in my family. She asked me just to play with her classmates. She just wants to distinguish between a child with no quality of life and their only child. From then on, she made a fool of me in front of everyone. I began to feel inferior. I have always felt inferior. I always feel that I have done something wrong. I always feel that people like us waste national food. Dad and other leaders changed cars, including red-flag cars, official cars and special eyes. Dad's car passes by the school. At that moment, my mother smiled happily, and the two sisters looked out the window with curious eyes. Avoiding those familiar eyes, their ambiguous smiles coldly swept my eyes. At that moment, I felt funnier than the monkeys in the circus, because I was the captain of the super guerrillas. I began to blame my mother, who often quarreled with her, for being unreasonable and willful. Why do you have so many children? I always feel wronged when my mother teaches me a lesson. Maybe I told her my father was sexy? Slowly, it didn't take long for me to vent this hatred on my sister and start my road to being king.

When I was a child, I was very headstrong. I am the king! ~~

I was lying on the sofa, stretching my feet, swallowing water and my throat was dry. "Jun, pour a glass of water." I let out a cry and my fat body trembled. There was no response, and I continued to call out, "Dead Jun, pour water quickly." Just then, my sister rushed over and brought me the cup with a very neat action. I stared at her. "Where did you die?" I'll count to three later. If you can't do it, I'll hit you. "

Usually, I only quarrel with my younger brother, maybe for taking a bath, maybe because of who sleeps on the bed, but whenever I quarrel with my sister, we are United. Under my military conquest, I became a king, my younger brother became two kings, and my two sisters became little slaves. They must obey our orders absolutely, otherwise they will be defeated.

My sister put on all the new clothes. I just stared fiercely and told my mother I wouldn't go. You take them out to play. My mother said to go together. I said, I don't want my mother to say, why did I say I didn't want to go ... Anyway, my mother took me and my brother out. Two chubby boys played crazy all day, but my sister watched us go with rogue eyes, leaving their thin backs. Because my brother will be angry, forget it, TV is good. Then he bowed his head and sighed and said, in fact, as long as he doesn't bully us, I will be very happy if he goes there to play.

Every time I think about bullying my sister before, my heart is sour. How could I be so headstrong when I was a child? I'm sorry, I didn't understand when I was a child …

In fifth grade, my mother's vague shadow.

Mom, I'm going swimming with my classmates tonight.

No, I'll take you next time your father is free.

No, I have an appointment with my classmates. I have to break my word, which will make people look down on me.

Are you just a group of children going? With or without parents.

No, their parents are very busy. They can all swim.

Then I'll go with you. I don't trust.

No, this is our classmate's party. They can all swim. It's okay. Besides, you always follow me and make me look down on them. I'm old, you care too much like that.

But last time, you almost drowned, causing your father to jump into the water wearing leather shoes to save you. He was soaked to the skin and his pager was broken.

That was three years ago. I am still young. I won't do it again this time.

You are only ten years old now.

He is only nine years old. Why did her mother trust him to go? I am not young, please give me some freedom.

If I say no, I just can't. He is so good that you think she is a mother.

I pulled a long face again and walked into the room behind her back without saying a word. I hid under the quilt and shed tears. Because I have been greatly wronged, why is my mother so unreasonable and doesn't understand my heart? Why was I born in such a family? Why are other children so free and have so much pocket money? Why are there so many children in our family? Why do they all have computers at home? Because their parents are educated, the more I think about it, the more I feel wronged, the more I think about it, the more painful it is …

My friend ran downstairs and rang the doorbell and asked me if I would go swimming. My mother answered them and told them to wait for me. Did I hear you wrong? My mother has changed? Why is she suddenly so reasonable? I still walked out of the room gloomily, my mother said, are you happy now? Give you what you want. I said, are you coming? She hesitated. It was a party between you and your friends, and mom didn't attend. I said, good, with a far-fetched smile on my face.

That day, the sky was clear and the weather was fine. I had such a good time with my children that I almost forgot to promise my mother to call home if I said I was late, and she would pick me up. Seeing that everyone was still swimming happily, I continued to paddle in the lifebuoy and put the matter behind me. I don't know how long after, when I surfaced and took off my diving goggles to breathe fresh air, a vague shadow looked at me from the fence outside the swimming pool. I tried to get close, but for some reason, I stopped for a while, and then I stood holding the fence. I saw her face against the fence, as if looking at something. My friend threw water at me, so I put on my diving goggles and started my war again. Twilight is getting deeper, the sound of playing is getting louder and louder, the wind is blowing a little louder, and my friends are tired of playing and ready to go home. Climbing out of the pool, sneezing constantly, and my stomach began to drum. Walking towards the exit step by step, my friends' parents came to meet them, but I stood at the exit and said goodbye to them helplessly. Their parents asked me if I wanted to take me home. I shook my head and smiled. No, thanks. I want to go home by myself. I was in a good mood at first, but I feel lonely at this moment. Mom said she would pick me up, but she was gone. Is she angry with me? Hum! Get angry when you're angry. I just want to go home by myself.

Walking on my way home, it was dark at night, and I was a little scared. Towel wrapped tightly, I sighed and sang to cheer myself up. I am a coward, and I am most afraid of walking at night, because I am always afraid that ghosts will follow me. Halfway through, the wind blew harder and harder, the leaves were blown away, and the iron sheet rattled by the wind. I always feel that something is following me, afraid of meeting the bad guys. I heard that some time ago, an old uncle killed a girl and threw her head near my school. The police arrested him and then released him. Because he was crazy, the last time his family didn't like him, he slipped out. The more I think about it, the more I get scared. Suddenly I stopped and cried loudly, because I was really scared. Why didn't my mother pick me up? I'm scared and angry. After some ideological struggle, I began to walk again. I remember my classmates telling me that there are three fires on people's bodies, two on their shoulders and one on their heads. Whenever you walk at night and feel something behind you, don't look back. As soon as you turn around, the fire goes out and the ghost enters your body. So I covered my ears and sang louder. Walking, I suddenly saw someone coming to me in a hurry and then called me. It turned out to be my mother. I also called my mother very loudly. I have never called her so loudly. My throat felt a little torn, and I was finally saved. I think so, too. Ghosts don't have to come after me. But I'm never angry again. Why did she come so late? Well, I just want to ignore her. I want to prove to her that when I am older, I can solve many things by myself. When I meet a bad guy, I will fight with him. I pull a long face and prepare to ignore her as if I didn't see her. But when I came to my mother, she handed me a warm big MAC, and my whole heart trembled. My mother was dressed very thinly, and the wind made her tremble, but she held back. The night was a bit scary. For the first time, I thought she was so small but so great. Her hair was a little messed up by the wind. When the wind blew again, I saw a series of blue fuzzy paint marks on her face. The original vague figure, the person who wanted to get close but stopped, turned out to be my mother waiting for me all night in the cold night. It turned out that my mother walked into McDonald's like a crazy woman, afraid that I was hungry. It turned out that the mother had no time to wipe off the paint marks on her face and was anxiously looking for her timid son. It turns out that my mother is just an ordinary woman.

When the college entrance examination

Guangzhou is a model, and I am sitting in an empty classroom. The plain paper was covered with red. I imagined the disdainful eyes of the examiner and left his disdainful expression on my answer with a red pen. The ceiling is spinning, and my eyes are unconsciously moist, without sound or expression. I just soaked the crumpled test paper with numb tears until my name faded.

Mom knows that I failed in the first mode of college entrance examination, just like after I failed in the first mode of college entrance examination. She has been doing ideological work for me, for fear that I will get over it.

Sister: "Brother, do you know? When the college entrance examination, my mother always asked me:

What should I do? What if your brother fails the exam? I really can't be a mother and I don't know how to comfort your brother. My sister said,' Mom, you are worried. He hasn't started the exam yet. He's not worried about himself. Emperor doesn't worry, eunuch worries first'

But I'm afraid of your brother's stubbornness and his current situation. I don't know what happened to him, and his grades will drop to the present. At first, his teacher told me that he could get into the key points, but now he can't stand it if he doesn't do well in the exam ... "

Mom shed tears because I have no confidence in myself …

Sister said,' Mom, why are you crying …' and then sighed …

I feel bad when I hear these words. I made my mother cry again because of my incompetence. But is my mother crying because of my incompetence? But I'm afraid to see me sad ...

Mom said that I will always be the best, no matter what will happen in the future, as long as I am happy. I said I must do well in the exam, and reread it if I don't. Mom says you can do anything you want. Don't be unhappy. I said I was sorry, I was really useless. Mom is crying again ... I turned my face away from her. I hate to see her like this …

Last year's video with my brother ...

Brother: Mom said excitedly, Hey, I saw your brother.

Mom touched the screen and asked me to tell you: you have lost weight.

Mom asked me to tell you that you should pay attention to your health and eat on time.

I said, oh, I see.

Mom asked me to tell you, don't work, wash dishes and break pots, don't dig with your hands, and be careful to cut yourself.

I said, yeah.

Mom asked me to tell you, drive carefully, don't speed, don't steal the camera.

I said, okay.

Mom asked me to tell you again, remember to eat enough and don't save so much money.

Mom asked me to tell you again, did you eat well there? Pay attention to your health.

Mom asked me to tell you again, drive carefully, take care of yourself and work as little as possible.

Mother said ...

I said: Hehe, mom is really annoying.

Mom said she was sad and ignored you …

I said, yeah.

After a while, I asked my brother

Where's mom? Why don't you talk? '

Mom went to take a shower and said she wouldn't talk to you. It was boring. '

Oh, remember to tell her to put on more clothes. It's winter there. '

In fact, I have been pretending that I don't miss her at all, pretending that I have no troubles here, and I am not as unhappy as before. I just hope she doesn't worry about me. Without culture, she can only repeat meaningless words, but that simple words, that kind of repetition, have become the most beautiful words in the world, deeply touching me and warming my heart, letting me know that I am the happiest person in the world, because I have such a mother …

Tears in Nepal

On the cliff of Xipiros, stands a stone statue of mother. Her whole body was stiff and lifeless, only her dull eyes lay with tears that never dried up. This is Nepal crying for her murdered daughter. The revered queen was once the happiest mother in the world, with seven strong sons and beautiful daughters. How naive he was. He didn't boast about her wealth and power, but looked down on Leto, a god with few children, because she had many lovely children and was finally retaliated by this terrible.

So Nepal is a symbol of tragedy. At the moment of disaster arrival, it turned to stone, and everything in her body died, except her sadness. As long as there are unfortunate parents in the world, her tears will not flow dry.

I owe her too much in my life, and she has shed too many tears for me, so I am determined not to let Nepal shed tears for my mother again …

I am homesick. I miss my parents, brothers and sisters very much. I really want to, dad. I don't know why. I always thought you could only play mahjong, but now I think you are not easy. As your child, I am really proud. Mom, you raised six of us with one hand and one foot. How much youth have you spent on us? Finally, we are all growing. Thank you for giving me such a home. Fatty, there are still two years. Keep reading, don't worry mom. Jun, as a freshman, you should be more careful. You are always so honest that you will suffer. When I was a child, I was too headstrong and often bullied you. Sorry, Fang, the college entrance examination is coming soon. Work hard, no matter what the result is, just try your best. Also, some things are predestined, don't be too hard, accept it, and it will be fine one day. Feishan, you have to lose weight. Do not be so lazy. B, study hard, your future is bright …