How should parents guide their children correctly?

First, the common sense of autumn parenting

The weather is changing from warm to cold, so don't rush to add clothes to the children. The weather is getting colder every day, and it is not easy to drop after adding it, but it can only be more and more. The best way is: you wear clothes as thick as children. If you sit still and don't feel cold, your child won't be cold. You know, although a child is not as cold-resistant as an adult, he is always exercising. Don't cover too much even if you are asleep.

When the weather turns from cold to warm, you can't cut clothes for your children in a hurry. According to your own feelings, you can cut clothes a few days later than yourself. If you don't feel cold because of cutting clothes, it's not too late to cut clothes for children, but you should cut one coat less than adults.

Master the principle of "covering spring and freezing autumn", and then add or subtract clothes for children in a planned way according to the weather forecast, temperature changes and your own feelings. Don't dress your child whatever you want, and don't listen to your child. When choosing clothes, if they are only beautiful but not practical, you should not hesitate to give up. Cold-resistant exercise Some parents are not allowed to leave home for fear that their children will freeze and the weather will get cold. Children's respiratory tract is not stimulated by outside air for a long time, and they can't get cold-resistant exercise. In spring, or contact with cold patients, due to poor resistance to pathogenic bacteria, it is easy to get sick.

Enter different room temperature environments.

In the cold season, children are sweating all over, their clothes are wet, and they are stimulated by cold air, which is very easy to catch a cold. If parents always dress their children more, regardless of the fact that the children have entered a heated environment, great temperature changes have taken place indoors and outdoors, which will make the children in an uneven state of hot and cold.

In hot season, children's clothes are thin and sweat glands are open. If you suddenly enter an air-conditioned room or car, it will cause skin blood vessels to contract, sweat gland pores to close, sympathetic nerves to be excited, visceral blood vessels to contract, and gastrointestinal peristalsis to be weakened, which will lead to abdominal pain, diarrhea, nasal congestion, sore throat and other symptoms. In addition, the air-conditioned environment is often closed doors and windows, indoor air is stale, and oxygen is thin, especially in the relatively narrow space, people are more likely to get "air conditioning disease". Expert advice:

During the heating period in winter, the ambient temperature of the hospital is relatively high. As soon as you enter the outpatient hall of the hospital, you must take off your coat and open your bag. Don't let the child sweat a lot. When you arrive at the clinic, the doctor will examine the child, and you must unbutton your clothes and open the bag. If the child sweats a lot, it is easy to catch a cold.

The same is true of entering kindergartens, primary schools, shopping malls, air-conditioned cars (with heating on), restaurants, indoor playgrounds and other places in winter. After entering, it is best to take off cotton-padded clothes, coats, hats, gloves, scarves, etc. Get dressed at the door before coming out. Not only babies, but also adults.

Second, five common tricks to play tricks on children should be stopped.

The first trick: deception

Consequence: Children are at a loss and can't trust others.

Deliberately teaching children to call the wrong person is a common trick used by many adults to tease children. For example, people who call their children "uncles" call them "grandfathers", and deliberately teach their children to call them "uncles" or "aunts" as "grandmothers". As the child calls the wrong name, it is often the laughter of adults, but the child seems at a loss.

The second trick: scare

Consequence: psychological fear, leaving a shadow.

"With a little brother, your mother won't love you!" "If you don't listen, Mom and Dad will never come back!" "Let me kiss you quickly, or my aunt will take you home!" These adults often talk about teasing their children, which seems like a nightmare to them. At this age, they still can't tell whether this is true or not, but they have increased a lot of anxiety. Adults are proud to watch their children obey because of fear or cry because of fear.

The third measure: seduce

Consequence: There is no right or wrong.

"Go and beat Uncle Li, and I'll buy you something delicious." "Take a sip of white wine and see if you are a man." Adults use material and language to induce children to do bad things, which is often accompanied by "really brave", "good" or some material rewards, and children who do "bad things" will be complacent.

The fourth trick: teasing

Consequence: Strengthen children's negative behavior.

For some fat children, sometimes adults will call them "chubby" and "fat girl". Children will feel disrespected when they hear such names. Children who grow up in an environment where they are not respected do not know how to respect others. In his personality construction, there is a tendency that "others don't respect me, and I don't respect others", which is why many people in our adult world don't know how to respect others.

Move 5: kiss, pinch, bounce, throw, pull and grab.

Consequence: It always threatens the life safety of children.

1. throwing children-easy to dislocate cervical vertebrae.

Dangerous action: hold the baby's body with your hands, throw it three or four feet high, and catch it with your hands when falling.

Injury to the baby: the baby falls from above, and the strength of the fall is very great. If you don't catch it, the consequences will be unimaginable. Even if caught, the impact of the child's fall can easily cause dislocation or subluxation of the cervical spine.

2. Flying-damaging the brain nerve

Dangerous action: grab the baby's neck and ankle with both hands, lift it up hard and turn around at the same time.

Harm to the baby: This kind of amusement is not only in danger of hurting the baby, but also in danger of causing cerebral palsy. Because of this rapid rotation, the baby's brain tissue will collide with the skull, damaging the cranial nerves and affecting the development of the brain.

3. Pinch the nose-damage the nasal mucosa and blood vessels

Dangerous actions: Some people like to pinch their baby's nose when they see it flat or want to make him happy.

Harm to the baby: the child's skin is very sensitive and the immunity is poor. Often pinching his nose is prone to redness, eczema and other problems. The nasal mucosa and blood vessels are seriously damaged and are vulnerable to bacteria and viruses.

4. Turn around-easy to dislocate and fracture.

Dangerous actions: Many parents like to hold their children's hands and then circle with them.

Harm to the baby: this method is easy to hurt the child. If the rotation is too fast, it will easily lead to hypoxia in the child's brain and dislocation of the joint. Adults may also fall down because of dizziness, and children may easily fall or even fall.

5. Pulling radish-dislocated joint and damaged spine

Dangerous action: hold the child's arm with both hands and let him leave the ground. There seems to be no danger, but there is a hidden "killing machine". Injury to the baby: Because the child's joints are not fully developed, this kind of play is likely to lead to joint dislocation and spinal injury.

6. Make the baby laugh too much-lack of oxygen and suffocation

Dangerous actions: Proper Doby baby can bring fun to the family, but excessive teasing will bring some bad consequences.

Injury to the baby: the baby lacks self-control ability. If you don't stop laughing, it will cause instant suffocation and hypoxia, cause temporary cerebral ischemia, damage brain function, and may also lead to stuttering.

7. Open your mouth and grab something-a foreign object is stuck in your throat.

Dangerous action: let the baby open his mouth and throw peanuts or beans into his mouth, one at a time. This is a very dangerous game.

Harm to the baby: Once peanuts or beans are thrown into the trachea, or when the baby laughs, it will suffocate and die.

8. Touch genital-urinary system infection

Dangerous actions: Some adults like to touch the little boy's genitals to tease him, which is not only unsightly, but also has a bad influence on the baby's health.

Harm to the baby: The baby's genitals and urethral mucosa are delicate and vulnerable to damage. The germs infected by adults' hands will invade the baby's urethra and cause urinary system infection.

Third, how to deal with children's unreasonable demands

Clarify the interest relationship and let the children make their own decisions.

Speaking of this, some parents may disagree and even find it ridiculous. The practice of "letting children make their own decisions" is too unreliable! For children with immature minds, the consequences of their own choices may be very serious. But have you ever thought that the choices we make for our children may not be correct sometimes, and will he be ungrateful or even complain about your efforts? Still more rebellious?

As parents, we can't predict what will happen in the future, and we can't guarantee that the decisions made for our children will be correct. In that case, why don't we try to let our children learn to make their own decisions?

Replace "No" with "Yes"

Psychologist Dr. Greland said that when parents say "no", some children can't understand why their parents refuse their requests. Besides, Ms. Chae Min Lim, a practical psychologist in Satya, pointed out that you should unconditionally accept children's shortcomings, accept their shortcomings, accept that they often make you angry, and accept that they are the perfect children in your mind. As a parent, the first thing to do is to accept the child's behavior, instead of blaming it at the beginning.

Explain patiently and express your feelings.

Professor Ray Thompson, a dispute expert at Northwestern University in the United States, suggested patiently explaining to children why their parents don't like his behavior. For example, if a child knocks on the table again and again, parents can say: knocking on the table like this will break the table and make me very sad. Stop knocking, will you?

Let the children choose one.

Encouraging children aged 1-3 to make some simple choices by themselves is helpful to cultivate their independence. However, there should not be too many choices. For young children and preschool children, you can choose one of them. For example, you can only roll the ball at home and throw it outdoors. Which one do you choose?

Demonstrate and tell the children yourself.

Some children have been doing some annoying things because they don't know what else to do. At this time, parents had better demonstrate and tell their children how to do better. For example, 2-year-old Henry always likes to poke his little sister. Parents can tell Henry, "kiss my sister" or similar tips, and little Henry will know what to do next time.

What if the child makes unreasonable demands? If parents don't take the right way to deal with their children's unreasonable demands, then children may make the same problems in their later growth, putting pressure on their parents again and again to meet their unreasonable demands. I hope these coping methods can help parents.

Fourth, how to refuse children's unreasonable demands

Dai's parenting concept emphasizes giving children more freedom, paying attention to relaxed and democratic parenting methods, and the material conditions are getting better and better. Parents are more inclined to meet their children's requirements, which leads to some children being too headstrong, reckless and lax, and demanding too much of their parents. Many parents also want to restrain their children, but they often can't find a good way, which affects the parent-child relationship. The following suggestions are for parents' reference:

The tone of refusal should be positive and the attitude should be gentle.

Parents should be clear about their children's requirements and tell them clearly that the language should be simple and they can make necessary explanations, but don't nag and reason repeatedly. Reject without emotion, so as not to aggravate the child's disgust.

Try not to discuss right and wrong in the process of refusal.

Parents should understand that they only need to clarify their attitudes and reasons, and there is no need for their children to recognize them, let alone try to persuade them immediately and allow them to keep their ideas. Just because parents tell their children that their ideas cannot be satisfied does not mean that their children's ideas are wrong. These are two different things, which can reduce their dissatisfaction.

Parents should have the same attitude towards the same thing.

In particular, parents should be prevented from deciding their attitude towards their children according to their own moods. When parents are in a good mood, they are always ready to respond. When parents are in a bad mood, they refuse all the requirements of their children. This will not only not give children good norms, but even hurt them.

Parents should try to keep the same thing.

Some children are so smart that they can't get it from their mothers, so they go to their grandmothers. Grandma's concern for grandchildren leads to inconsistency among adults, which is not conducive to children to develop some necessary behavior habits.

Be clear when rejecting children.

It is to refuse the child's request, not to refuse the child. That is to let children feel that their parents have different views on things, and such views will not affect their love for their children.

Rejection and satisfaction should be combined.

Parents should be careful not to refuse too much to their children's demands. Appropriate satisfaction is needed when necessary, and the two aspects are combined to guide the healthy development of children.