Classic Cantonese funny sentences

1. I am loved by everyone, and the car sees the car, and the woman is still there.

2. The cool breeze has a fan, pumping water without electricity, penniless and wanting to eat durian. Although I don't wear gold and silver, I have money, but I can lend you some mosquitoes at high interest to buy a baby face.

The exam was so focused that countless candidates stayed up all night. Cherish Qin Huang Hanwu, too timid, Tang Zong Song Zu, had to copy. A generation of Tianjiao, Genghis Khan, finally handed in a blank sheet of paper. The past is over, and the romantic figures are all over again.

4. Feiteng, shake your feet and buy old pork to sacrifice to God. On the way to pagpagpag, go to the vines around the temple, go back to the mouth of the house, eat pork and become a plague god, and read the information silly.

5. Don't be depressed! Robbery! Everybody put your hands up. Men parked on the left, women parked on the right, perverted in the middle of the enterprise, tight with you, cheating on your mobile phone!

6. In class, the teacher asked, "What are the characteristics of poor robbing and pregnant women?" As a result, only three people qualified, and they replied, "It's all caused by bugs." And only one person got full marks, four words: too late!

I fell in love with you at first sight and said nothing. I came to see you the other day, and no one looked for you everywhere. I'll marry you in five days and be together for 60 years!

8. Sending messages is a bad behavior. You can choose to be good, you can choose to be crazy, you can choose to be stupid, and you can even choose to be crazy, but it is difficult to send messages!

9. I married three kinds of women, one is an injection nurse, her name is "Xu, high-tech or so" and the other is a bus driver, who calls every day "Enter D and enter D, and it's so empty inside." The teacher of the third department said in Japanese, "If you do my best, you will be punished for doing it a hundred times."

10. 123456. There is no program at night, and several idiots are alone. Seeing that a beautiful girl is so mature and ghosts call me a girl, it is better to go home early and have a sweet dream! ... sin! Sin!

1 1. I've always wanted to say those words to you, but you know their weight. I am afraid that once I say that we can't even be friends, but I can't control my feelings, I will summon up the courage to say to you: Ilido, you drink Zuomo today!

12. That's weird. It should be you. I've been looking for you. I will make good use of this opportunity. I'll catch up with you until ... you thief! You are connected with our enterprise.

13. If being handsome is a crime, I have committed a heinous crime; If it is a mistake to have a style, I have been wrong again and again; If cleverness should be punished, then I won't be cut to pieces; If modesty is to be tortured, how can I escape?

14. There is news in the breeze, and the autumn moon is boundless. Thanks to my feelings, every day is like a year. Although I am not handsome, I have a broad mind and strong arms. Do you love me?

15. If God gives me another chance, I will tell you: "Park Street! You can't dump me without money! "

16. Men go out to pack their bags, and women are called "golden houses and hidden ladies"; Women call men "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". 17. Thunderstorm warning takes effect; The Glueless Observatory reminds you to take a lightning rod before you go out. good luck ......

18. You are really loved by everyone. Look at the car in the car. The coffin is open and the dead chicken is covered.

19. I'll catch you! Did you catch me?

20. Men's four ideals: money falls from the sky, handsome guys are dead, beautiful girls are rusty, and they are scrambling to pick me up; 2 1! Sending messages is not easy. You can have a fever, be in a good mood, have a fever and be crazy, but it's not easy to send messages! It's always good for Vitasoy! A22。 Miss me when you are lonely, come to me when you miss me, and see if I remember to bring fruit. Oranges mean you love me, bananas mean you miss me. Apple represents that you love me.

23. From now on, China Mobile will give a big discount to sending short messages. Traditional SMS costs me money, simplified SMS costs 20 cents each, and English SMS costs 5 cents each. China Mobile suggests sending short messages in a simplified form.

24. Baby, you are tight, so I can hold on to you!

25. Do you know? You just kill people behind their backs; The front is scary! Solution? Because you look like Edison Chen behind you, but unfortunately, you look like Ye Jingsheng behind you! ! ! What a pity, what a pity! ! ! ! ! !

26. Get up, rotten training pig, and get to work quickly, so I won't bother you ~ ~! Really blind ~!

27. Love at first sight, and I'm crazy when I see you again. Take pains to win people's hearts every day. I've tried very hard. I tried my best. Don't understand your heart, don't understand my heart?

28. It's hard for you. If you want to send me a salty and wet short message, I will write it on Zhou Jie: Certificate13xxxxxxxxxxx 29. Inadvertently meet you, but intentionally know you; Miss you as family, like you as love; I am half-hearted when I don't see you, and I am single-minded when I see you. It is said that the weather in Guangdong has been changeable recently, and there have been several heavy rains all over Guangzhou. Please remember to bring a rubber boat when you go out, just in case.

3 1. I fell in love with you at first sight, but I haven't seen you for two days I came to see you three times and four times, and five birds surrounded you. My six relatives refused to save you. I made friends with you eight times in seven times, and I gave you 999 roses, because I like you very much! ? !

32. Wife: "It is better for me to marry the devil than to marry you!" "Husband:" No way, consanguineous marriage is forbidden. "

33. You are really loved by everyone. When you see a car, you see the coffin open! !

34. Zi Ming: Mom, how about Hong Yiyuan? Mother: All the way, turn left at the first crossing and turn right at the third toilet building! (it's your ABBA company, dead boy! ) 35. The cool breeze has a letter. As soon as I lift it, I can see your private parts like dew. Although I am not nine inches long, I can turn.

36. A kiss gives you a rose. Two kisses for you, my home. Hmm. Three-kiss honeymoon claw-removing depression. Well, I am a fool in love. When I love you, I will never change my mind! ! !

37. Whistle teeth can be used to grow watermelons, eat them with knives and forks, cover your chin when it rains, separate tea residue when drinking tea, and block them twice when returning.

38. There is an elephant, a sheep and a Zhu Jinchun by the river, just like you!

39. Man: "Jane, I caught a big fish. Come to my house for dinner! " Jane: You want to catch me with that fish, don't you? 40. It is better to fall in love than to study when people are outside the classroom. The teacher asked for an answer? Your words are for the next generation.