Funny blessing jokes

1. I remember when we were in school, everyone called you "weird pig". The number of times you called you was too much, and you felt unbearable. Finally one day, when a classmate called you a nickname again , you burst out: I am not a pig! Haha, Happy New Year!

2. This investment, that consumption, this money making, that money spending, earn slowly, spend quickly. Quickly think of ways to make money and think of various ways to save money. I wish you unlimited money! Haha, happy New Year!

3. The instructor is a cat and I am a mouse, so I have to stand upright like a tree. The buddy next to me refuses to admit defeat and insists on being strong, punching and kicking two of them. Ya, I hope the students will train hard in the military, develop their endurance, and live in harmony with the instructors. Haha, Happy New Year!

4. I am busy with work in three autumns, my salary does not increase at the end of the month, money goes too fast, and my heart is panicked when the moon shines. Money should be at your disposal. You must know that it is difficult to make money and spend money. Only when you learn to save money in moderation and learn to manage money can you be rich. May you, the talented one, be rich and prosperous, and may your wealth and salary be prosperous. Haha, Happy New Year!

5. Exercise weight loss doctor: "The only way to get rid of your excess fat is to exercise → exercise as much as possible." A: "Nonsense! My wife keeps talking about it every day, but she The lower bar has always been two-story. "Haha, Happy New Year!

6. In the kindergarten, there was a little boy who was building blocks but failed. A little girl next to him said kindly: ''Let me help you. '' After hearing this, the little boy turned his head with disdain and said: ''Go, women don't have to worry about men's affairs!'' Haha, Happy New Year!

7. A man and a woman were talking on the phone. Man: Can our relationship be saved? Woman: A button on the phone. The man was overjoyed: Really? The woman: No, it’s hands-free. Haha, Happy New Year!

8. In the frosty weather, I give you three treasures to keep out the cold: warm gloves to make you smart and handy, warm vests to make you feel full of spring, and soft shoes to make you walk as fast as flying. I wish you good health and eternal happiness during the frost season! Haha, Happy New Year!

9. My wife loves to eat fruits. Once when I was walking home with my wife, she insisted on buying a few kilograms of apples to take home. I said don't buy them because there were still a few kilograms of oranges at home. My wife replied: "Can oranges taste like apples?" Haha, Happy New Year!

10. The instructor looked at a student who was standing loosely in a military posture and said, "Standing in a military posture" It embodies the soul of a soldier. ’ The student was dissatisfied and asked, ‘Instructor, am I standing without a soul?’ The instructor said, ‘You are standing like a corpse resurrected’. This is dedicated to the freshmen standing on the front line of the military posture. 'Happy military training!' Haha, Happy New Year!

11. When I was a child, I dreamed of holding hands with the prince and walking into the palace of happiness. I found that besides Zhu Bajie, I was still Zhu Bajie. O(∩_∩)O Haha~ Just go with the flow! Haha, Happy New Year!

12. A waterfall flows from the corner of the mouth of one year old. Two years old wears no pants. Three years old has snot flowing into his mouth. Four years old has ghost dreams at night. This person is young and hopeless and will have a low IQ when he grows up. What he is saying is that you still insist on seeing it till the end. I admire you. I admire you! :) Haha, Happy New Year!

13. I have never worried about money. When you feel anxious about money, your hands feel sore after making money, and when you spend money until it hurts, you realize that making money is not easy, and you have no choice but to spend money. I wish you happy spending money and no worries about making money! Haha, Happy New Year!

14 . The process of making money should be hard, the process of spending money should be happy, and you should regret it when you run out of money. You should be eager to make money back. If you want to make money, then smile, because a smile is worth a thousand pieces of gold. The more you smile, the more you earn. The more you get! I wish you happiness every day and make money every day! Haha, Happy New Year!

15. Making money is average, practice it, don’t play around, and what you deserve will not run away. Be generous with your money, control it appropriately, and be unobtrusive, not that you don't force it. I wish you a broad heart and a lot of money! Haha, Happy New Year!

16. A child secretly climbed up a fruit tree and picked an apple. The owner of the garden saw it and shouted, "Little guy, what are you doing?" The child took the apple and said, "An apple has fallen. I want to climb up and hang it up." Haha, Happy New Year!

17. In order to spend money, you fall in love with making money. Because making money is hard, you dare not spend money. My friend, I know your difficulties, and I would like to wish you a prosperous business and a successful career. Congratulations on getting rich! Haha, Happy New Year!

18. The physics teacher talks about the principle of electricity: "Friction can generate electricity. For example He said that if you touch the cat's fur backwards, you can see sparks of electricity. "Oh my god," a little girl shouted, "how many cats must the power station have!" Haha, Happy New Year!

19. In the office, Ah Ju was sitting and smoking. His boss saw him and he said angrily: Isn’t it company policy? Smoking is not allowed while working. Ah Ju: Because of this, I don’t have a job when I smoke! Haha, Happy New Year!

20. Ah Ju stood in front of the paper shredder at a loss. Ask the secretary: How to use this thing? Secretary: Easy. As he spoke, he took the thick stack of reports from his hand and stuffed it into the shredder.

Aju: Thank you, where did the copy come from? Haha, Happy New Year!

21. Eat enough, drink enough, it’s time to go to bed, don’t snore, it affects the quality of sleep, tomorrow morning There is a queue of people waiting to buy your fresh pork! Haha, Happy New Year!

22. Impulse is the devil, and the devil is also romantic. The tortoise looked at the mung bean and looked at it, and the tortoise was determined to eat the mung bean. If you are not full, you will have only one trouble; if you are full, you will have countless troubles. You left gently, it would be better if you didn't come. Haha, Happy New Year!

23. The photographer asked Xiaodai how many seconds he needed to prepare. Xiaodai obviously stretched out three fingers, but why did the photographer press the shutter button immediately? Because Xiaodai stretched out three fingers. : middle finger, ring finger and little finger, that also means OK! Haha, Happy New Year!

24. When I miss you, I don’t dare to call you for fear of hearing your voice; it’s so sad Yes, I always miss you, but I can't always stop fighting. So, I excitedly picked up my cell phone and dialed you, hello? Why isn’t it you? Dizzy! It turns out my cell phone is in arrears! Haha, Happy New Year!

25. You said you? , I bought lottery tickets, but I didn’t win five million; I went to find a partner, but I didn’t meet a fairy; I went to work, but I always worked overtime. Let me teach you a magical way to get lucky. Keep it a secret. If you tell others, it won't work. That is - stepping on dog shit.

Haha, Happy New Year!

26. Troubles have been fired, sorrow has been defeated, unhappiness has fled, failure has been written off, success is noisy, happiness is laughing, wishful thinking is shrouded, auspiciousness is shining, and blessings are surrounding , happiness comes to report! Haha, Happy New Year!