Parents eat and watch mobile phones, but blame their children for not eating well? Is it effective to raise children like this?

In extremely cold weather, I wanted to eat something hot, so the whole family went out to eat hot pot together, but I met the next table. The children are crying and their parents ignore them. You think I'm not angry?

Parents at this table, from the time they ordered, looked at their mobile phones separately, letting the little boy run here and move there, and the little boy made faces at us from time to time.

Until the child knocked over the chopsticks and broke the teacup, the waiter came over, and the mother looked up and beat and scolded the child: "I told you not to move, but you just didn't listen!" " ",after scolding, look at the mobile phone again, and there is nothing to accompany the children and take care of them for dinner.

Sitting on the side, I was shocked when I saw it. I thought: What if the child accidentally burns and falls?

However, the parents of the child don't seem to be worried at all. They still keep looking at the mobile phone, occasionally put something to eat in the hot pot, while continuing to reprimand the children for obeying and eating well.

Parents who can't eat well, but scold their children for disobedience and eating badly? What's more, raising children is so hard?

Do you often see similar scenes? On the surface, parents are educating their children. Obviously, parents did not show themselves, divorced from the education of life itself, and there was no good effect.

Like other parents, do you want to know how to solve these problems?

For example: how to make children eat well and sleep well? How to choose a kindergarten for your child? How to set learning goals for children? How to deal with bullying and conflict between children? How to distinguish the meaning of "back" and "back" in learning? wait for

The intelligent dialogue between Hong Lan and Cai Yingqing in the book "Educating in the Details of Life" tells the subtle role of daily life in educating children from theory to practice.

The whole book has three core ideas:

First of all, set an example.

Professor Hong Lan said, "It is not difficult to raise children. It has only one principle, which is to lead by example: don't do anything you don't want your children to do, that's all. "

Cai Yingqing said: "I have always regarded cultivating myself as more important than cultivating children. Before expecting a child's ability, I want to know or learn that kind of life deeply. I want to be an interesting mother before raising an interesting child. "

Do as you would be done by. Parents' words and deeds are very important to their children.

Therefore, if parents want to cultivate their children, they must first be themselves and understand that "cultivating themselves" is more important than cultivating children.

And to cultivate yourself is to manage the family well and train the children well.

Because education is life. Education is hidden in conversation, in manners, in books you have read, and even in clothes you have folded.

Therefore, in order to manage children's daily life, parents should first manage their children's words and deeds. Because example is better than all preaching. Teaching by example is another important significance for parents to accompany their children.

In the process of accompanying children, parents should first correct themselves, because children learn to speak by listening to your voice, learn to be a man by watching your posture, and learn to do things according to your way of doing things.

The cultivation in the details is subtle, but it is really the most direct nutrient for children.

Therefore, the book "Education in the Details of Life" is not so much a parenting book as a parenting book.

Second, a good life is the best education.

In Education in the Details of Life, Tsai Ing-Wen said: "Without life, there can be no culture. Children's aesthetic feeling can't be cultivated just by visiting art galleries and watching art performances. Eating well is a good aesthetic education. People are greatly influenced by the environment. Put a bottle of flowers on the table, spread a tablecloth, set chopsticks and eat naturally and elegantly. "

So the cultivation of aesthetic feeling comes from life.

Education should start with details, and parents should set an example to let children have fun and learn knowledge in life.

The book "Educating in the Details of Life" conveys this idea to parents through various examples, scenes and puzzles:

Education is not methodology, but life itself. Every minute that adults get along with their children is the best education for children.

For example, when children speak loudly and make noise, parents should remind them in a low voice to attract their attention.

At the same time, parents should not let the world revolve around their children because they love them. Self-care, courtesy and family service are the most natural breeding places.

Different from other parenting experts, Hong Lan and Tsai Ing-Wen pay more attention to education from life, so they don't have so much demands and pressure on their parents.

Therefore, as long as you are a parent who loves life and pays attention to the details of life, you are a parent who can let children learn to manage themselves.

Therefore, parents don't need to be perfect, but they need to be the best. Parents' participation in the growth process of their children's lives means giving and appreciating. Parents don't have to be masters, they just need to be accompanied by heart.

3. What is the best gift for parents to give their children?

The best gifts parents give their children include safety, fairness, discipline and reading.

Parents' unconditional love for their children is to provide their children with a sense of spiritual security.

Why are children so selfish nowadays? It is because parents give their children a material principle of fairness, which is a misunderstanding of education.

For example, it is only superficial fairness to buy the same toys for children and share the same amount of food.

Equality and respect in the family are absolutely mutual, and no one is special. Fairness is not only material, but also sharing and mutual assistance.

Parents should let go of their obsession with absolute fairness between different children, believe that their love for their children is the same, and believe that children can accept and understand.

It is good to guide and train children to read, but we must teach them discipline first.

To sum up, Hong Lan and Cai Yingqing gave gentle and wise answers to the puzzles of parents and teachers in education by asking and answering questions and using very clear logic.

In "Education in the Details of Life", Hong Lan and Cai Yingqing, one asked questions seriously and the other answered them attentively.

Hong Lan and Cai Yingqing are both from Taiwan Province. On the one hand, they absorbed the western educational thoughts, but they did not worship foreign things. On the other hand, they respect the traditional culture of China, but they don't stick to the tradition. They are immersed in the traditional cultural family, and explore and reflect in this balance, which parents and educators in Chinese mainland lack.

From Education in the Details of Life, we can know that education is not methodology, but life itself. Every minute that adults get along with children is a subtle education for children.

The maturity of adults can be reflected in raising children.

If you also want to be a mature parent of your child and learn how to cultivate yourself and your child, I recommend you to start with the book Education in the Details of Life.