The full text of Ni Xinning's article "Father's Love as Zen".

The scene of that day, when I was sleepy and slack, in the lonely midnight, appeared clearly in front of my eyes like a slow motion in a movie. ...

199 1 autumn, the day when freshmen report for duty. At 4 o'clock in the morning, my father gently woke me up and said that I was leaving. I got up in a daze, and other freshmen were sleeping sweetly. What a beautiful and happy dream they had at the moment! Because I have a heart disease, the school insists that I must go through a strict physical examination by the hospital expert group before I can be admitted. The future is uncertain, the world is boundless, and a feeling of being abandoned by the whole world surrounds me, and my heart is barren and painful. After staying for a long time, I said, can't you go back after my physical examination? There is crying in the words. Father took out a cigarette, but he couldn't light it. When I said you had it upside down, my dad gave a wry smile, lit it again and took two deep breaths. I suddenly found a pile of cigarette butts underground, only to know that the shiny cigarette butts when I woke up in the middle of the night were not dreams. My dad probably stayed up all night!

Silence. The students are snoring.

"You know, I'm very busy at work." Father's hand holding a cigarette trembled and looked guilty. "I don't have 7 days to accompany you to wait for the expert group."

There was a long silence, and the smoke burned to the end, but my father didn't notice it. I say you go, I'll see you off.

Father is in front, I am behind, and no one speaks. When I went down the stairs, the white hair on my father's head stung my eyes in the strong light. Overnight, my father aged a lot.

The bustling city during the day is deserted at this time, and there are no pedestrians on the road, only our father and son. Some unknown bugs are hiding in the corner and wailing.

At the crossroads, my father stopped suddenly, looked back at me carefully, smiled hard and patted me on the shoulder: "Nothing, go back!" " "Then turned and left.

My mind was in a daze, just watching him leave step by step, trying to capture his father's figure under the dim street lamp. I hope my father will look back and see his favorite son, the son who has never left him. I only saw my father's footsteps hesitating and stumbling, and even for a moment, my father paused, but my stubborn father never looked back. I don't know how long it took, but I found that my father had disappeared from my sight. When I turned back, tears burst into my eyes.

Seven days later, the physical examination passed smoothly. I excitedly called my father and told him, but my father said flatly, "That's for sure."

Only later, my mother told me sadly that my efficient and capable father suddenly became a mother-in-law, and suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, shouting my birth name. When I was eating, I suddenly asked my mother if I was not acclimatized in that city. I sat in front of the TV and stared at the weather forecast of my city every day ... Listening, my tears came out again. ...

My father never mentioned these things, and I never took the initiative to ask them. I understand that there are some pains and disasters in the world that cannot be communicated in words, even between father and son. Father's love is like Zen, so it is inconvenient to ask, to say, and only to realize.