Han Dong's "Yang" and "Running Water in this Dynasty", which friend kept it?

Excerpt from Yang () Excerpt from Yang ()1In the autumn of 287, Yang made a long trip. At that time, her body had not collapsed, and after the second operation, she could not see any symptoms except flat chest. She went to the southwest alone and successively arrived in Xi 'an, Ganxian, Lintong, Huashan, Jiuzhaigou, Songpan, Chengdu, Leshan, Emei, Dazu, Chongqing, Fengdu, Wushan, Badong, Yichang, Dayong, Zhangjiajie, Liuzhou, Guilin, Yangshuo, Kunming, Dali, Ruili, Wan Ding and Xishuangbanna. She took many photos. Yang in the photo is carrying a backpack and wearing a braid, just like the educated youth of that year. She has traveled a long way with very little money and has never stayed in a hotel for more than ten yuan. Sometimes she will stay with vagrants and beggars, spend the night in hardwood chairs in the waiting room and carry a backpack. Although I don't mean to belittle myself, I don't care about myself as much as before. Illness gave her a sense of security in the crowd, and she didn't have to be on tenterhooks all day like those young girls. This is Yang Zui's last trip. In fact, she has put her life and death at risk. In the light of death, Yang gained a false sense of freedom. Now that death has come, what can't happen? Maybe subconsciously she did expect an accident, an affair-almost impossible, or an ugly rape, but they didn't show up. During the long journey, Yang met many kind people who helped her or made friendship with her. They left addresses and phone numbers for each other and agreed to meet again next time (in Nanjing or their city). The interaction with these people reflects the beauty of the world, but it is better to let Yang recover from illness. I don't think anyone knows that she is a terminally ill patient. This is her doomsday trip. She wandered through the beautiful mountains and rivers, and then waved goodbye to strangers. Her feelings must be rich and unusual. Strangely, with time running out, Yang doesn't cherish the time spent with his family. In the days when she was still active, she didn't even expect to visit her father in Xuzhuang. For the first time since she was sensible, she chose a personal way to be with strangers in a foreign land. She can finally be alone for a while. Let's go back to the picture. In the past days, Yang became a photographer and took many photos. Of course, she prefers to be a model. I said she was a photographer, mainly for this reason. She prefers to be photographed by others than others. Except for the photos of different styles on the trip-all from the hands of many friendships. Indoor, the photographer of those photos in her and Zhang Wen's bedroom is mainly Zhang Wen. We can get a glimpse of Yang's life in his later years: knitting, reading, practicing Qigong and being with Sansan. In most photos, Yang is wearing a colorful loose nightgown, which runs counter to the simple and rigorous dress of working days. How Zhang Wen persuaded her is still a mystery. Just as it is impossible to fall in love with photography, when did she fall in love with clothes? In the photo, Yang's dress changes frequently, but the style is mostly the same (loose nightgown or nightgown). It's all handmade. Yang sewed it with a sewing machine when she got married. The cost is not expected to be too high. Compared with the days of sky-blue dress, her craft has obviously improved. Of course, it is mainly the vision and the feeling of wearing clothes, as well as enthusiasm. After many years, Yang finally found her passion for beauty. Even though her breasts are flat now, the clothes look sexier and more suitable than ever. Maybe she has a lot of free time now and never leaves home. Perhaps, all of a sudden, color photography is popular and the cost is relatively low. Maybe this is the afterglow of my trip back to Bangkok. Sometimes Yang also acts as a photographer. In addition to taking a selfie or two in front of the mirror, the object is almost unique, that is, three or three. The image of Sansan in the photos preserved during that period is almost equivalent to that of Yang. In addition, there are many photos of them (the photographer is Zhang Wen), or Sansan is held in her arms, or he is lying on her shoulder, or they live in peace, one is sitting by the bed watching TV, and the other is lying at the end of the bed staring at the camera. In contrast, there are few photos of Yang and Zhang Wen. These things are strange. In Yang's view (in the world she saw through the lens at the last moment), Sansan is as important as the rivers and mountains of the motherland. As a photographer, Yang's two major themes are Sansan and the scenery of the motherland. The latter appeared repeatedly in the photos taken during her trip, which almost constituted a waste. Such an empty scene can be seen everywhere in pictorial and postcards, and there is nothing special about it. But such photos actually occupy all of Yang's photographic works (part of the journey). In the bedroom of Tianjin Xincun, she only took three or three pictures. It can be seen that Yang is still not interested in people. Later, Yang began to swell and deform, and the photography period ended. The loose clothes she made for herself are very suitable for the changed shape. Yang seems very prescient. Yang's illness can no longer be kept from his family. Both father and Yang Jun have visited Nanjing. Yang Jun has entered the factory as a worker and is going to marry his colleagues in the factory. It's a pity that my sister can't go back to their wedding. Yang doesn't care about this, because everything is under her control and manipulation. Now she has plenty of time to ask about her father and brother, but she can't do it herself. She can't go back to China because of illness and medical requirements. So they came to Nanjing more frequently than before and came to her bedside to discuss ideas. Later, Yang was so swollen that he could only be separated by a curtain. The main content of the dialogue between the two sides is still their own life problems. The house in the country can no longer live in, and it needs to be renovated and rebuilt, or Wang (his wife) is pregnant. Who will take care of the baby in the future? Yang Yan answered behind the scenes, which really meant a slap in the face. If she hadn't been so ill and rested at home, she would have brought her brother's children. Yang has never taken care of children or been a formal mother, but she still urges and Wang how to behave like an authority in this respect. Her parenting experience is limited to animals, but both Wang and Wang nodded convincingly. In order to welcome the arrival of children, Yang opened a clothing factory in his bedroom. Behind the curtain, the sound of the machine kept clicking. It was she who stepped on the sewing machine day and night. At the moment, she has only one arm to move, and her face is greatly hindered by edema. She is used to making baby clothes under new physiological conditions. It's the first time for each other: the changed body and children's clothes, her purpose is to make them adapt to each other at work. Only the sewing machine here is old and its performance is still the same. It is more immortal than her body. So we see all the needs of a child in clothes. From baby diapers to shoes and socks hats, from soft underwear to cute coats, from the difference of four seasons to changing every day. The size is getting bigger, indicating that the child is growing up. From birth to more than four years old, Yang could never do it again. She said to Yang Jun and Cui Zhen, "Take these home and use them first. You can go to the store to buy ready-made ones after you are four years old. If it is a girl, I can wear my clothes when I grow up. I don't need it anyway. " She instructed Wang to open a suitcase containing some of Yang's clothes, most of which were not even worn when taking pictures. These clothes are so beautiful. During these years when she was ill, Yang made clothes to kill time, worked slowly and did fine work, with no clear purpose (whether she could wear them out or not). These clothes are simply works of art. She gave them to the king. Zhang Wen is extremely dissatisfied with this and is full of contempt for his family's strong dependence on a dying patient. "Look at your sister, look at your daughter, how ill she is!" He said to Yang Jun and his father. Zhang Wen hates that they only talk about their own affairs after they come, but they show amazing indifference to Yang's illness. Of course, they can't play any role in actual treatment and can't help. Their attitude towards Yang is as if she is all right, or just a headache and brain fever. Perhaps, they think there is no cure. Yang is just waiting to die in bed, and any related conversation and concern will be of no help. Once, Yang's father told Zhang Wen the truth behind Yang's back: "I am a doctor, so I don't know the illness of the swallow." She's hopeless! After that, I shed tears. The outbreak of this emotion is somewhat a comfort to Zhang Wen. Otherwise, he really thinks this family is too heartless, and Yang is even more pitiful by comparison. Now, Yang's father finally mourned for his daughter. That Wang Cui Zhen-Yang Jun's wife is prone to red eye. When Yang handed her the suitcase and told her what she had said, she couldn't help crying, even an outsider, her own brother! "Mr Zhang think impassability. In order to emphasize the contrast, he deliberately called the king an "outsider". Zhang Wen began to tell Yang how she brought up and how hard it was, as if those things had nothing to do with Yang, but Zhang Wenlai had to tell her. With some complicated feelings, Mr. Zhang began to command Yang Jun, of course, in his sister's affairs. Zhang Wen feels obligated to do more for his sister. Yang Jun is taciturn, but in good health. Every time Zhang Wen orders him, he always asks Yang for advice, including working for Yang with her consent. Yang always gives a veto. For example, Mr. Zhang thought that he should ask for leave from the factory and come to Nanjing to take care of his sister for a few days. After Yang knew it, she strongly refuted Zhang Wen, saying that she didn't need anyone to take care of her, including Zhang Wen. If he wants to get rid of the burden, get rid of it now. She will never let him get into trouble. But she warned Zhang Wen: Don't involve Yang Jun. On another occasion, Zhang Wen wrote to tell Yang Jun that his sister needed to recuperate and let him try to get some turtles back from the countryside. One day not long after, Yang Jun brought a snakeskin bag turtle to Nanjing, which contained 10 or 20 turtles of all sizes. Yang is very distressed about buying turtle money. Although it is cheaper in China than in Nanjing, it is also a big expense. She asked Zhang Wen to go downstairs to the market to sell turtles, but Zhang Wen refused to live or die. He said, "I want to sell it to Yang Jun." Yang won't let me. Later, the turtles were put in the bathtub of the bathroom for three months, and Yang insisted on refusing to eat them. I think she must have secretly returned the turtle money to Yang Jun and told him not to tell anyone. In the apartment in Tianjin Xincun, Sansan has more animal playmates since then. In Zhang Wen's view, Yang's body was dragged down by her family. Tracing back to the source, naturally, it is inseparable from her unfortunate girlhood. Later, Yang's father and brother's dependence on her will also be counted. Now, she is ill and dying, and they haven't let her go. They came here again and again, not to discuss her illness and treatment plan, but to ask her advice or something. In this regard, Yang seems quite satisfied. Suddenly, Zhang Wenyou has a feeling that our family is desperately trying to maintain Yang's life, while their family is making full use of it. Zhang Wenjue is unfair, especially Yang's attitude towards me makes him very disappointed. Her affection for their family is obviously unconditional and she is willing to be used, but her attitude towards our family is different. To this end, Zhang Wen and Yang Fa had a fierce quarrel. In the later stage of Yang's illness, we often hear such quarrels, smashing things, cursing each other and crying easily. At this time, Yang can't leave the bedroom, and she can't leave the door. We were also confined to the outside by curtains and could not go in to dissuade us. Besides, the reason for the quarrel is not for another woman or purely emotional problems. Quarrels in this period always involve the families of both sides. Around a person's death, everything has become so naked and undisguised, which is really unbearable. Zhang Wen said, "My family is so kind to you, and my mother waits on you. I ran to the hospital and hired a qigong master for you ... "Yang said," My dad hasn't asked you how I got sick ... our family is honest enough! "Zhang Wen is short of breath:" You are dragged down by them! Yang said to him, "This is just an explanation." . There are other explanations! "Before the summer of 14- 18-9, Yang's condition began to deteriorate rapidly. It is said that she may die at any time. The doctor asked her to be hospitalized again, which made it easier to save her. There is no new medical plan, just for the convenience of timely rescue, which means that Yang will eventually die, just in the hospital bed instead of at home. Yang refused to be admitted to the hospital, and she was determined to die on her wedding bed. Here, she showed her attachment to Zhang Wenyi's family. At least compared with the ward in the hospital, the dormitory in Tianjin Xincun is a more ideal place. I can see that Zhang Wen felt great comfort from it. Even Yang didn't offer to go back to Xuzhuang and her father's house to die. Maybe she didn't want to give them any trouble? By this time, Zhang Wen was no longer jealous, because he really wanted Yang to die in his arms. The problem is how to spend the hot summer. At that time, Yang's skin had begun to fester in an all-round way, and Zhang Wen had to scrub and change the medicine twice a day. There are more and more flies at home, and there is a faint sour taste in the room with doors and windows open. At first, we thought it was because of Yang's poor management, so it was convenient everywhere. I was later convinced that it smelled of decay. Because it is getting stronger and stronger, we begin to have some bad expectations in our hearts. To put it bluntly, we hope that Yang will die early-if she has to die, it is indeed a problem of a difficult summer. We hope to finish before the real dog days come. Yang already needs oxygen. Zhang Wen borrowed two oxygen bags from the hospital and put them on the bedside table, always ready. He never dared to leave Yang to spend the night in the study facing north, so he moved the movable bed back to his bedroom so that he could make a phone call at any time. During that time, we were very nervous. We are all told that Yang will come soon, but we don't know when and how she will appear. It was the peak of the student movement, and sometimes Yang was awake. She always asks us something. There is a radio beside her pillow, and she still has the strength to pull out the antenna and tune to the channel that everyone is interested in. She turned up the radio so that we could all hear it when we gathered in the living room. A group of us shouted desperately to take care of Yang's existence when discussing in the living room. This kind of communication can make her forget her physical pain, and gradually, we also realize this. It turned out that Zhang called a group of friends to gather in the living room just in case, fearing that Yang would have a care once something happened. Moreover, when he is too busy outside, he can't go out because of Yang, and it is also for fun to call a group of people to chat at home. Everyone was attracted by this real event, even Yang was no exception. At the end of her life, she miraculously had a purpose, that is, to wait and see the result of that event. Now she has made up her mind to endure it day by day, and the two sides will not be at loggerheads forever. One day. By that time, she had said goodbye to her father and brother. When her father came to the corridor, he cried again, sobbing like a child. On the other side of the wall, Yang lost his voice and cried. She covered her nose and mouth with clothes and cried until it was dark. We stood in the living room, just between the father and the daughter who saw us off, and we couldn't help feeling sour when we watched them cry and didn't want each other to know. Everyone knows that this is their last time. The old man took the cervical vertebra physiotherapy instrument that his daughter bought for him, went downstairs trembling and ran to the car. Only the death of his daughter will bring him back here. When they come again, Yang will already be dead.