What does it mean if you are poor and don’t cultivate your father-in-law’s land, and if you are rich you don’t marry a living wife? Is it true?

What does it mean to be poor and not cultivate your father-in-law’s land, and to be rich and not marry a living wife?

You really can’t farm, and you can’t marry either!

I have been living in the countryside. During the Bailu solar term, I saw the wheat in the fields beginning to tiller. I often heard the old people say this: People are afraid of old age. Bitter, wheat is afraid of drought in the womb. If you taste this sentence carefully, it is indeed very reasonable.

The first half of the sentence means: People will suffer from diseases when they get old. Coupled with the decline of body resistance, many old people cannot bear such suffering and feel very irritable and anxious. Depression.

The second half of the sentence means: Wheat entering the tillering stage is very afraid of dry weather, because this is when wheat accelerates its growth and needs a lot of water. If it is drought, it means a reduction in yield. Even childbirth.

Such a simple saying not only tells us the important period when wheat needs water, but also reminds us that if the weather is dry at this time, we must irrigate the wheat in time; and for a summary of old age life, It also explains the sufferings of the elderly and reminds us to be kind to the elderly at home; it is indeed worth keeping in mind.

So what does this old saying mean, don’t plow your father’s land, don’t marry a living wife? Is it reasonable? Is it worth keeping in mind?

Don’t plow someone else’s land?

As a son-in-law, it is naturally no problem to help his father-in-law plow the fields, but that is not what this sentence means. He refers to the fact that the son-in-law has to help his father-in-law plow the land when he is extremely poor. Relying on the father-in-law's land to survive.

To put it bluntly, it means: the son-in-law is a son-in-law who doesn’t live up to expectations, or even a lazy son-in-law, so he got to such a point. Therefore, the meaning of this sentence is to warn us men that we must live up to our expectations. Don't mess up like that, otherwise you won't even be able to hold your head up in the village. Not marrying a living wife?

A living wife refers to a woman who was divorced in ancient times. Such women were divorced because they violated the ancient women’s behavioral norms such as the three obediences and the four virtues. Therefore, the ancients believed that they must not marry. of.

Divorce under such circumstances does not make sense in modern times, but for those women who are only greedy for money and worship money completely, we must never marry, otherwise we will be like my friend. , the woman asked him for a bride price of 80,000 yuan when she got married, and then divorced him 2 months later, and told him, I can refund you 20,000 yuan as a bride price, and you are worth the rest.

In fact, if you are not very good-looking and no longer young, which young and beautiful woman will really fall in love with you? Some things really need to be understood in your own mind!

To sum up, if you don’t plow your father-in-law’s land, you won’t marry a living wife? The first half of this sentence makes sense no matter in ancient times or in modern times, but The second half of the sentence doesn't make sense now, but it can still be used as a reminder to remind us not to be greedy for young and beautiful women, especially when our conditions are not that good, otherwise we will follow you after we get the money. Divorce is bound to happen.

Living in the countryside in the 1980s and 1990s, if a man was married to a wife at that time, I am afraid there were not many men who did not help their father-in-law plow the land. The father-in-law also went to his son-in-law's house to help him plow the land.

In the past, during the busy farming season, due to competing for sowing and harvesting time, ordinary rural families rarely used the method of asking for workers to solve problems. Most of the time, relatives helped relatives, neighbors helped neighbors, or exchanged jobs with each other ( In some rural areas, they are called job seekers?). It is very normal for a son-in-law to help his father-in-law plow the land. So why do you say you won’t plow your father’s land?

In fact, if rural proverbs stick to the literal meaning, they will deviate from the true meaning of the proverb, and it will be difficult to understand the truth that the proverb wants to explain to people. If you don't plow your father's land, you won't marry a living wife. This proverb is similar to other proverbs. It uses a metaphor to tell people a truth, that is, a man cannot just hope to cultivate other people's land, or rely on others. Cultivated land? Life. The same is true for marrying a wife. You cannot marry someone else's wife, that is, a married woman. In the end, you can only draw water from a bamboo basket in vain? 1 The meaning of not plowing the land of others is

This sentence in rural areas also means that people who are poor cannot plow the land of others. Literally understood, a son-in-law cannot rely on cultivating the land of his father-in-law's family, or no matter how poor the son-in-law is, he cannot rely on cultivating the land of his father-in-law's family.

Usually the son-in-law helps his father-in-law's family farm, which is not within the meaning of this saying.

I remember when I first got married, no matter how busy we were at work, during the spring plowing and production season, we had to take a few days off to help my father-in-law plow the fields, and help my father harvest in the autumn harvest. As for the fields I contracted under the cumulative method in the first round of the responsibility system, since my husband and I were unable to manage them outside, they were all managed by my father-in-law, and the harvest belonged to my husband and I. We went to help my father-in-law plow the land for a few days and harvest rice for a few days. The harvest would naturally go to the granary of my father-in-law's family. It was not until the second round of the field responsibility system was extended that my responsible fields were adjusted out. But during spring plowing and autumn harvest, my husband and I still went to my father-in-law’s house to help.

Anyone who is familiar with rural production and life knows that it is only natural for a son-in-law to take time to help his father-in-law plow the fields, and it is what a son-in-law should do. In the past, it was a traditional rural habit and a norm for relatives and neighbors to help each other during busy farming periods in rural areas. However, now that the young rural labor force goes out to work, this traditional habit has disappeared. People use the method of asking for work to solve the problems of spring plowing and autumn harvest.

Therefore, this sentence cannot be understood literally, and it should not be understood that the father-in-law's field cannot be plowed. This is inconsistent with the reality in rural areas.

My father-in-law’s family eats from one pot, and my son-in-law’s family eats from another pot. In the old days, land was privately owned. Even if the father-in-law's family had extra land for his son-in-law to cultivate and harvest, the ownership still belonged to the father-in-law's family, and the son-in-law only had the right to cultivate it. Once the children of the father-in-law's family grow up and the population increases, the land will be distributed to the son as the main property when the family is divided. In the old days, the son-in-law did not have a share, unless he was a visiting son-in-law (no different from the father-in-law's son). If your own land is not cultivated for a long time, you can take it back if others say you want it. There is no way around it. With your own land, not only can you cultivate it for a long time, but your children and grandchildren can also inherit it.

Some people now interpret the phrase "Don't plow the father-in-law's land?" to mean that the father-in-law is unreliable, or even mean that the father-in-law looks down on his son-in-law. This kind of thinking is very biased and wronged my father-in-law.

Just think about it, if a family in a rural area is separated and each brother has his own farmland, and the elder brother lets the younger brother cultivate the land for a few years, it does not mean that it is given to the younger brother. It will still be taken back when the time comes. Is it the same thing as my father-in-law’s farmland? For another example, the elder brother has a vacant house but the younger brother has no house to live in. The elder brother lets the younger brother live temporarily, but the property rights of the house still belong to the older brother. When the older brother's children grow up and need a house to live in, the house will be taken back and the younger brother will have to move out. This is what we used to call brothers’ clear accounting of their finances, which not only means clear financial accounts, but also clear property accounts.

In the past, the farmland owned by the father-in-law would ultimately belong to his wife and brothers. He would have to settle accounts with his own brothers, and even more so with his wife and brothers. Therefore, the word "father-in-law" in "not plowing the land of the father-in-law" is just used as a metaphor. No matter what kind of relatives they are, each person owns the land thousands of miles away. No matter how good someone else’s farmland is, it still belongs to someone else’s family. Farming other people's farmland, even if it is the farmland of your father-in-law's family, does not rely on capital. It is the most profitable to own the farmland yourself. This is like an old saying in the countryside: A golden nest and a silver nest are not as good as your own straw nest.

2. What does it mean to not marry a living wife?

In rural areas, this sentence is also said to mean that a poor man will not marry a living wife. Regarding a biological wife? and a living wife?, I posted a question and answer on the headline Wukong on January 8, 2021 "Why do the ancients say it is better to die poor than to marry a biological wife?" What does it mean to have a wife? 》The answer has been given in detail, so I don’t want to repeat it here. If you are interested, please follow my account and view this answer.

What needs further discussion here is that on the Internet, living wives are now said to be women who have been divorced by men or husbands. This statement has no basis in ancient classics and documents. The clear saying in rural areas is: a married woman whose husband is still alive. According to the current legal name, marrying a living wife is called bigamy.

This is originally a very simple question. Since the woman who has been divorced by a man or her husband's family has terminated the relationship between husband and wife, how can she still be called a biological wife? and a living wife? In today's parlance, they are called ex-wives and ex-husbands. Men can marry and women can marry. There is no obstacle to law or reason.

Some people now believe that divorce in ancient times was the persecution of women by feudal patriarchal ideas, and they are opposed to feudal patriarchal ideas. This view is correct. However, these people also say that divorced women have violated the seven-out rule? They make a fuss about the character of such women and say that they are worthless. In fact, they inadvertently belittle or hurt divorced women, giving people a feeling of prejudice against divorced women. With this statement, it seems that if a woman is divorced by a man or her husband's family, it is the woman's fault, and the man is not at fault; it seems that as long as a woman is divorced, it is the woman's fault, and the man is not at fault. This is a very contradictory statement, which shows that feudal patriarchal ideas still remain in the minds of some men today.

It is not necessarily the woman’s fault that couples divorce now, nor is it necessarily the woman’s fault who was divorced in the old days. The ancient system of divorcing wives was a bad habit of feudal patriarchal thought towards women. It set seven rules for women in a vulnerable position. Father-in-law, mother-in-law, and husband could divorce a woman for any reason they could find. For example, if a mother-in-law doesn't like her daughter-in-law, she can divorce her. Mother Jiao in the ancient poem "The Peacock Flies Southeast" did this. She divorced Liu Lanzhi without her son's consent, which resulted in female infidelity. River, the tragedy of a man hanging himself. In ancient times, some men had no choice but to find a reason to divorce their married wives in order to marry their foreign sweethearts home as their first wife, and their plot would succeed.

Because of this, in ancient times, in order to plug the loopholes in the law, a law of "three no-goes" was formulated, which together was called "seven outs and three no-goes". Seven days out is the reason for divorcing your wife, three days you don't leave is the rule not to divorce your wife casually.

Therefore, some people now impose the concept of "biological wife" and "living wife" on women who divorced or divorced women in the old days. This is not only disrespectful of historical facts, but also disrespectful of folk customs. It is using modern thinking to It is really inappropriate to belittle those women of the past who have long since passed away.

In the old days, a living wife was a married woman. Marrying a living wife was a bigamy. Not only is bigamy a crime in modern law, but it is also a crime in ancient law, and it is not allowed. Ancient and modern laws prohibit bigamy in order to maintain public order and good customs in society. The laws of the Tang and Song dynasties punished bigamy, especially the laws of the Ming and Qing dynasties, which required that a woman convicted of bigamy be returned to her original husband. A man who marries a living wife in this way will be punished by the government on the one hand, but on the other hand, the wife he brings home is still not his own. Isn't this a beating? There is a rural proverb in the old days: One's own wife cannot live a long life, or someone else's wife cannot live a long life. This is the truth.

In short, as the saying goes, don’t plow your father’s land, and don’t marry a living wife? The first half and the second half of the sentence have the same meaning. The first half is a metaphor, and the second half is a metaphor. This is the key point to explain.

If you plow your father-in-law’s land, you are plowing it for others. The land can never become your own land. You can take it back at any time when others want it. Marrying a living wife? The wife you marry is a married woman, no. It may truly become one's own wife. Once someone reports to the government and he is convicted, his wife will be returned to her original husband. This proverb is to remind people not to do anything like this, which is to draw water from a bamboo basket but in vain. Today, this saying still has a positive meaning.