Jokes about homophones of Chinese characters

1. I went home with MM after high school. I saw a barbecue vendor at the school gate. MM said she wanted to eat beef offal because there were many people in front of the grill. I was afraid that the boss wouldn’t hear, so I shouted loudly. He shouted: "Boss, five skewers of bullwhip" and then there was silence. Three seconds later everyone burst into laughter. Very embarrassing. . . The most embarrassing thing is that MM then asked me "What is a bullwhip?" I had no choice but to answer MM in a very, very low voice: "A bullwhip is a cow's tail."......

2. Occasionally, I was driving and a beautiful colleague hit the car and sat next to me. I was very nervous and said: Put on a condom! The beauty will never ignore me again... depressed ING...

3. Someone came to my aunt's house as a guest before, and she just walked in. It happened that my aunt had to go to the toilet. She quickly greeted the guests and said, "Sit down, sit down, and I'll pour you some urine!" (originally she meant to pour some tea).

4. During the internship, I said to a teacher: Teacher Chen, is your surname Chen?

5. When I went to the factory for a metalworking internship in college, the master worker said when assigning machine tools: For the sake of safety, we will try our best to ensure that one male classmate and one female classmate share a bed. At that time, all the boys burst into laughter and the girls blushed. During the internship, I did almost all the lathe work for the girl who shared the same bed with me (Han). Finally, considering that if she couldn’t do anything, it wouldn’t be good for the master to check, I advised her to practice her skills. I know she said: I am used to letting you do it. It was extremely cold at that time.

6. A friend went to a dumpling restaurant and asked, "How much does a bowl of dumplings (sleep) cost (night)?" The waitress just heard "Bah!" and said: "Shameless!"~< /p>

7. During the self-study class, everyone was watching the review. GG said to MM: "I just memorized the words, please help me write them silently." MM didn't want to be silent, so GG begged her, you (touch) silently Me, (touch) me! ! As a result, MM couldn't bear it anymore and shouted, "Teacher, look, I don't want to (touch) him, but he insists on me (touching) him~~~!" ! !

8. One day I went to a classmate’s house for dinner and drank some wine. Her father suddenly came in. He originally wanted to call her uncle, but he made the mistake of saying, “Dad, come sit down!”~~ cold! Most of my classmates were laughing so hard

9. When my colleague was arguing with someone, he got anxious and said, "Do you think I grew up eating?" I have always wondered what he grew up eating.

10. When I was in elementary school, a very annoying boy asked me to borrow an eraser. If I refused, he would stalk me. After that, I yelled with all my strength, "I won't marry (borrow)." Here you go." The students immediately became quiet...

11. During the computer class, a classmate had a problem with his computer, so he shouted, "Boss, change the computer!" The whole class was stunned< /p>

12. I spit on your face!

13. I joked to mm: "Don't say you know me, it will affect my reputation!" mm said: "Are you fertile? Can you have children?"

14. I He was a man who fell ill in Guangdong and lost his voice. I went to see a doctor, and the doctor told me: My vagina was inflamed and I was dizzy... I looked carefully and saw on the diagnosis: Inflammation of the vocal tract - speechless...

15. When I bought a computer, the boss offered me a price of 4150. I bargained: The boss is so good at 410~~~~The boss is crazy!

16. Last time I went to work in the morning, I found that the bicycle tire was flat, so I wanted to ask my mother to help push it outside the door to inflate it. As a result, I said: push my tires out.

17. A girl was heartbroken, and I advised her: "Two-legged toads are hard to find, but there are plenty of three-legged men!"

18. There was a labor class in elementary school. , usually weeding, so the teacher had to remind us to bring hoes when school was over the day before. On the second day, we had labor class and were ready to go. For the convenience of management, the teacher asked: How many people have brought them? Those with hands raise the hoe! ”

19. Encourage a lost love.

Classmate, do you know what lovelorn means?

20. In the junior high school Chinese class, someone recited Mao Zedong’s poem: The Romance of a Generation...

21. A certain teacher, today, we are going to teach Yang Xiuzhi

22. Once at a ktv, when I asked for a song, I shouted loudly: Please order me a song called "Double Jay Chou"...

23. During my sophomore year, I especially liked to play with my classmates. A girl from the dormitory went shopping together on a bicycle. After getting dressed up, we got into the elevator together. Suddenly, she remembered that the car seemed to be running out of gas, so she said to her: Why don't you accompany me to have an abortion first? ~~~~Oh my god......

24. There were a lot of people on the bus, and a tough man yelled: Mom, you stepped on me

25. A high school classmate of my classmate (a boy) walked into the noodle shop and tossed his hair coolly: "Boss, I don't want rice noodles for 2 liang of green onions!" After that, he added: "Please order more rice noodles!" The boss: "... Do you want rice noodles or green onions?"

26. At a literary evening, the host came to the stage to announce: Please enjoy the following: Xinjiang singing and dancing, lift your skull! Mao

There are many jokes about the homophony of Chinese characters in the 510 SMS network to check for slips of the tongue. You can look for them