Are there any rural couples around you who have raised their children so well that they finally regret it?

I am a farmer. To be exact, I became a monk halfway. I worked hard outside from my teens to my forties. Later, for the sake of my children's studies, I chose to go back to the countryside, because we couldn't go to a good school without a house to work. At that time, we didn't want to take root outside, not because we couldn't afford a house. Let's make up our minds to go home. Compared with the salary of 18 thousand a month as a chef in a restaurant, I was miserable in the first two years when I came back, and I didn't earn100000 in two years. Later, I changed my strategy. I can't do it myself, so I hired someone to do it. If I don't understand, I will study. After two or three years of hard work, I finally got an equal income. Since 2007, I have earned 400,000 to 500,000 yuan a year. (Net income) Because my son went back to the countryside and was tired of working day and night, I found another direction when I was middle-aged. This makes me very happy. My children have a bright future. They all went to college and studied. This is what I am most proud of. After forty years old, I can make some small achievements, and now my children can also succeed in their studies. Why regret it?

This is a self-contradictory question. The general method of cultivating good children is to "guide according to the situation" and "govern by doing nothing". If it is not "diverted" but "blocked", how can children be excellent? If "strengthening the body, deleting secrets, and keeping the right position", it is not to cultivate talents, but to push the disabled talents! For example.

That was more than 20 years ago. I have taught one class of junior high school Chinese and many classes of junior high school history (how many classes? It slipped my mind. There are two excellent students in the history class, one is Chen and the other is Wang. Both of them got good grades. Every time, Bobby Chen was the first, and Wang Sheng was the second. Their study was just average. Almost all the family members are illiterate. They don't help their children with their homework and don't ask for any counseling. Both of them went to study in County No.1 Middle School. Three years later, Bobby Chen studied literature and was admitted to Xiamen University. Wang Sheng studied science and was admitted to Peking University. In fact, when Wang Sheng was in junior high school, he never won the first place in his class, let alone the first place in his school. At that time, there were three junior three classes in the school! There are several top students in each class, and Wang Sheng is 2-6. But Wang Sheng is the best Chinese student in this class! Although almost all the top students entered the Ninth Five-Year Plan, Wang Sheng was the only one who entered Qingbei. What did you do at home? Pay tuition. What did the school do? Class by the table! This is called cultivating talents!

What do you regret? Do you regret paying the tuition or following the schedule? ! Wang Sheng majored in biology at that time, but his Chinese score was too good. Later, he switched to Chinese, and now he is the deputy secretary of a municipal party committee.

Regret what? Regret what? You're driving your kids crazy? Driving crazy? Forced to suffer from schizophrenia, autism, neurasthenia, ... Is that called cultivating talents? That's pulling out the seedlings, it's your own grave digger! I want to know where Excellence comes from. !

I only believe in educating children to teach them in accordance with their aptitude. "Don't be angry and arrogant, don't be angry and arrogant." If you don't turn around for three times, it won't be there. "Don't do nothing, don't push the disabled, don't encourage them. That's stupid! Educating children in this way is not training their own children, but also their own grave diggers! Answer for reference.

Let's define what is "excellent" first. The answer is long and annoying. Just give one example. I have an old classmate with only one daughter who studied in the United States and got married in the United States with American citizenship. In the early years, everyone praised her daughter for her promise. The year before last, he complained to me that he raised me for nothing, and now he is over seventy years old, and I haven't seen him for a whole year. I said, how convenient is it to send videos? He said that because she lost her temper several times, her daughter only sends money instead of calling. I don't know how this old classmate feels now that the epidemic situation in the United States is like that.

Parents send their younger brothers and sisters to college, and everyone works and lives in the city. My parents live in the countryside, and sometimes we ask them, "Don't you regret feeding us all?" ? If we don't pass the exam, we will be filial around you at home, and you will enjoy it more! "Parents will say," Then we are blessed and you have suffered! "This is our life, as long as you are good!" Parents are the same all over the world. It's even happier to see their children having fun, isn't it?

It is better to have a good son than a dog.

Guhan in Gucun is 65 years old this year. Whenever someone mentions his children, he will swear: "I will scold anyone who mentions those two dogs again!" " I have no children. Better have a dog to keep them! "How did ancient Korea do it? Why do you hate his children so much?

It's not easy to say this ancient Han. He was also a talent when he was young. He is a good carpenter and is known far and wide. His small family lives in prosperity and harmony. He is particularly proud that he has two good sons and daughters. They are not only beautiful, but also have excellent grades. Everyone likes them and sees them bloom. At school, teachers hold them in their hands. In the village, they are role models for every parent to educate their children. Therefore, as long as someone mentions his child, his mouth can open as big as his pants. When he is fine, he will laugh out loud whenever he thinks of his children.

Guhan's daughter is the eldest, and she has excellent grades in school. Later, she was admitted to a famous university in Shanghai and stayed in the provincial capital after graduation. Now she is the department head of a foreign company with an annual salary of several hundred thousand. But what bothers Guhan most is that she is over thirty years old and still single dog.

My son is even better than his daughter. /kloc-at the age of 0/8, he was admitted to the top universities in Beijing, majoring in financial management, and then studied in the Chinese Academy of Sciences. He stayed in Beijing after graduation and was recruited by a government department. Now he is the chief of administration. He is just 30 years old and has never been married. He is also single dog.

Han in ancient times was a handsome man. On holidays, he looks at the children of his neighbors, whether they are working or doing business outside, and whether they are doing well outside. However, they all take their children with their left hands and their daughters-in-law with their right hands to go home for the New Year. What makes the eyes of ancient Han people greedy most is that those people are busy at home. Children around the old man, shouting grandparents, full house of children and grandchildren, frolicking around their knees, children and daughters-in-law, busy outside, happy family, laughter overflowing the yard.

Look at your home again. On holidays, my daughter calls me at least 10 thousand, and my son calls me at least 5 thousand. Apart from the money, I called to apologize. "Mom and Dad, I'm sorry, I'm too busy this year, so I can't go back to spend the holidays with you. I must go back next time! You must not save money at home, take care of yourself! " I want to say a few more words, and I want to ask if there are any good objects. There was a busy tone of "DuDu-"on the phone. The old man can only hold his mobile phone in a daze. Look at me, old couple. I'll look at you. They stare at each other with small eyes, and are relatively silent with only a thousand lines of tears!

The Spring Festival is coming again this year, and the old man is worried again. When New Year's Day arrived, my son called first. After greeting, he began to apologize. "Mom and Dad, you can't go back to spend the holidays with your parents this year. The epidemic situation is grim and epidemic prevention is tense. I will send the money to me. You can spend the holidays at home. " "The second son, you don't come, don't come, work matters, I want to ask, have you found someone? How old are you? How many children do people your age have? You can't wait any longer! " "Don't worry, I don't want to find it. Now the work is tight and the pressure is too great. How can I find a wife to raise children! " "The second son, no matter how busy you are, you have to get married. There are three unfilial, no future! " "pa!" The phone is disconnected over there!

My daughter also called for the same reason as my son, and she couldn't come back.

Just as Guhan's cousin came, he invited Guhan to his house for a drink, saying that several children were back, and the youngest brought a girl back, asking him to clap his eyes to celebrate.

Guhan's cousin is a lout with three sons and a daughter. None of these four children have ever been to school, and they are all working outside. Both eldest sons got married and had children, and gave birth to two grandsons, two granddaughters, a daughter and a boy and a girl to his cousin. Only the youngest son is unmarried, and now he has taken it home. It is estimated that he will get married soon. Now, my cousin's family is prosperous and full of children and grandchildren. Although they don't have a formal job, they make a lot of money through work and business. Several children have bought houses in big cities, and each family has its own car. Holidays are really lively! Cousins and old couples smile from ear to ear every day. What a wonderful little life! Look at yourself again. Although a son and a woman are outstanding and successful, they are not married, and they are even more unwilling to have children, which is equivalent to breaking the incense of ancient families. What's so interesting about this day!

The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets. His chest ached, his face turned pale and he had difficulty breathing. Bang, he fell to the ground, unconscious.

When the old man's cousin saw it, he hurriedly called the child. He is busy dialing 120. The child was arranged by too many chefs and the ambulance arrived. He was rushed to the hospital for first aid. Aunt Gu called the child quickly, and the answer was, I don't have time. Please ask my relatives to take care of it for me. Each of them gave 50 thousand.

After some rescue, GuHan recovered, and it made him even more uncomfortable to see Gu Dama alone looking at him. But for his cousin's help, he would still be alive today! He took his old aunt's hand and wept bitterly, screaming at the sky. "Well, why did they study so hard? It's really a pity. What is the use of raising such a child? " Not as good as my brother's children, but also get benefits! Keep them instead of dogs! ! "

There is a real example.

A few years ago, I was assigned by the city to a county high school to check and evaluate.

When talking about leisure together, their leaders introduced the secretary of the school, and they all said enviously: "Secretary Bai has a good family and is educated. She has only one daughter. She graduated from Peking University and studied life sciences in the United States. Now she works in a laboratory in the United States and earns a lot of money. " The secretary also smiled.

But he whispered to me, "My daughter is excellent and successful in the eyes of others. Every time people praise me, I look proud on the surface, but in fact I feel very uncomfortable. At my age, it's usually time to take care of grandchildren. My daughter is over 30 years old. She stays in the laboratory all day, has little contact and has no boyfriend. My wife and I haven't seen our daughter for years, so we can only video. Just like a folk song in northern Shaanxi: it's easier said than met someone. My wife and I also got passports, but we are not used to going there. Now, this daughter is not my daughter, but a social person. As for earning money, my salary is enough. No one, what's the point of asking for so much money? "

We were born and raised in the countryside. In order to transform our children, those who didn't have the opportunity to go out to work at that time had to cultivate their children to go to school by farming. Because of the meager income from farming, they also developed pigs to help their children go to school, and finally they were admitted to a university. Now that we have graduated and got married, we have changed the appearance of our children. We both enjoyed our old age, and now we have both gone to the capital. Who will accompany our daughters to see their grandchildren, and we can also open our eyes to see Beijing?

How can you say regret?

I have seen many children of rural couples, and children are examples of top students in the senior high school entrance examination. Their manners, life, morality and learning ability are excellent, and their parents are very proud.

Moreover, even in rural areas, such parents are often knowledgeable, prudent, democratic and reasonable people. Probably because of their age, they didn't go out, so the children they trained were also excellent.

When you mention regret, do you mainly mean that children develop well, fly far away, but have no time and energy to take care of them, and look lonely and miserable when they are old?

But I believe that knowledgeable parents will not regret it. They may think more about their children's development and future.

It is indeed a contradiction to keep the child around or let him develop freely. However, with the development of the old-age care mechanism, parents can't always expect their children to have time to accompany them, and filial piety doesn't have to accompany them. what do you think?

Have you ever regretted raising your child so well?

My second cousin's husband left, and my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter didn't come back abroad. Two years later, the third cousin left, and his son and family came back, but it didn't take long for the house to be demolished.

My second cousin and my cousin's husband both grew up in the countryside. My brother-in-law has suffered a lot. He used to be a carpenter and a mason. Saving money, with some savings, I moved from the countryside to the county seat. I rented two shops in the city to make clothes. Business is very good. I made a lot of money, bought a house in the city and bought a second set for the store.

Her son is what people call someone else's child. Excellent grades, entered the ideal university in the senior high school entrance examination and went abroad for further study after graduation. Later, he stayed abroad to work, and at the urging of his second cousin and brother-in-law, his son finally got married. Second cousin finally breathed a sigh of relief.

To tell the truth, our second cousin's house is what we admire most. The family is rich and the son is excellent. Third cousin's nephew, fourth cousin's nephew, naughty, bad grades. When the third cousin educates her children, she always compares the second cousin's son with her own, which is more irritating.

The next year, my second cousin's son said that his daughter-in-law was born, and my second cousin and brother-in-law rented a shop and immediately went abroad to take care of her. It wasn't long before my brother-in-law came back and said he was not used to it. Cousin takes care of his daughter-in-law abroad.

One day, the second cousin didn't knock at the door, and gave the soup directly to her daughter-in-law. The daughter-in-law is ungrateful and says that she should respect her privacy. Second cousin got a fright. Since then, the second cousin has been carefully taking care of her granddaughter and daughter-in-law, fearing that she would do something wrong to make them unhappy. When the child was two years old, they finally persuaded the second cousin to come back.

The second cousin and brother-in-law have a good relationship and have lived a good life for more than ten years. Only in the winter of 20 17, my brother-in-law suddenly fell ill and had a fever. I went to the county hospital for an examination and found that it was lung cancer, and my second cousin was old. She is worried that something will happen to her brother-in-law. What should I do? Call my son quickly. The second son said that he was busy at work and asked his mother to go to Beijing Hospital to treat his father. Don't worry about money. The second cousin was disappointed, but said nothing and agreed. After hanging up the phone, I found that I had to buy tickets online to go to Beijing. She won't. She is talking to her son on the phone. No one answered. There is no way to go back to the hospital. My wife asked her son what he said. The second cousin only said that his son wanted to go to Beijing for treatment. My brother-in-law didn't say anything either. Turn your head.

It was dark, and the second cousin went to the third cousin's house and wanted her to buy a ticket. Cousin immediately took out her mobile phone to buy a ticket and asked me what my second aunt was doing in Beijing. The second cousin said, give my uncle a physical examination and then play in Beijing. Who knows that the third cousin returned the ticket again. Second aunt, you are old and the weather is cold. You are unfamiliar with Beijing. Who do you want to talk to? In this way, our unit project has just been completed. I ask for leave from the leader, and I'll drive you. Cousin couldn't twist it, so she had to agree. With the help of my third cousin, they were successfully hospitalized. During that time in the hospital, my son came back once, but left after two days.

The second brother-in-law stayed in the hospital for more than two months. Still didn't make it to the new year. The second cousin told her son by phone. My son is still busy. My cousin didn't come back when he left. He looked at the hospital gate. Finally left disappointed.

I buried my cousin under his care. Second cousin is alone, and we often go to see her. There is something at home, and the third cousin has been helping her. Slowly, she also came over.

By 2020, the third cousin is gone. My second cousin's son came back from abroad. Second cousin, it's not a taste. My son said it well. Thanks to my third cousin, I should come back to take care of my parents. The second cousin thinks that her son is finally a little human. After the third cousin was buried, the community went to the second cousin's house and told her that the street planning was going to be demolished. According to the housing area, the government will compensate some money and return the second house.

The second cousin suddenly felt that this time her son's family came back and left without saying goodbye. Ask the comrades in the neighborhood office if his son knows. He said that his son was his classmate and told him the same thing. My second cousin's heart is cold. She never wants to guess her son, he is the pride of their lives. but ...

On the day when he took the cash, his son found his mother and discussed taking the cash. The son told his mother directly that it was not easy for them to live abroad. Money looks a lot at home, but living abroad is the same as living at home. Nervous. He said he wanted a second suite. Mom got 50 thousand yuan. Mom said she wanted a second suite, free of charge. The son said: Investment projects abroad need money, and I hope my mother will give up the house. The mother strongly disagreed, and the son questioned the mother, why do you want so many houses? Can you live in so many houses by yourself?

Hearing this, the daughter-in-law slammed the door with her granddaughter. When the son questioned his mother, she finally couldn't hold back, saying that your father left and didn't come back, and you came back with the demolition money. When you are abroad and don't need us, talk to us about freedom, human rights and privacy. You ask me about freedom and human rights abroad, so I won't bother you and stay away from you. But with domestic affection, playing emotional cards and asking for money. Mother finally said what she had never said. Here, the face between mother and son was finally torn.

The son also slammed the door.

Second cousin didn't listen to our advice. Third cousin said to raise her, and she didn't go to third cousin's house. She insisted on giving her third cousin a house through a lawyer, selling another suite, giving it to a nursing home and living with the old people in the nursing home. We often visit her, too. Third cousin said, not to mention inheriting a suite, that is, there is no room, and he wants to give his second cousin a pension.

In real life, it is often the children who are the most unlucky to accompany their parents to the last section of the road?

There is such a thing!

Our neighborhood, the old couple, two daughters and the eldest daughter studied very well, and they also went to Germany to study during Baoyan University! At that time, everyone in the neighborhood who didn't envy them praised them for cultivating such an excellent daughter! Stay and work in Hangzhou after returning to China. I seldom come back once a year. I'm in my thirties and still unmarried! Seeing that all the children of the same age around them are married and have children, the old couple are not calm.

The youngest daughter passed the art exam and went to the south, where she found a boyfriend and got married. She was pregnant some time ago and asked her mother to take care of her. After staying there for three months, her mother came back and said that she was homesick. She doesn't understand the language there and can't help!

The old couple are guarding a set of 160 square meters big house with two rooms and four halls, and their lives are very lonely! Tell you, it's a pity that my two daughters are so far away that I can't help anything. If they are given a new choice, they will definitely stay with their children, get married and have children, and enjoy family happiness!